Changing Our Perception Of Social Interactions In 3 Steps

Communication is quite tricky, and it is considered one of life’s basic challenges. Where do people need help understanding each other, and how can they improve that? Three crucial factors could affect your interactions quite positively and surprisingly, and we believe it is worth giving them a chance.

1. Energetic listening can be a real problem solver
   Most of the troubles that have to do with communication are due to misunderstandings. Either the person who expresses themselves or the one who listens needs some clarification. What is energetic listening, and how can it help? Well, energetic listening is the process of repeating another person’s phrase to better help them understand what they say. This allows them to reach conclusions on their own from a safe and realistic point of view. They are not exaggerating, and they can simplify the process of dealing with an issue. At the same time, it allows you to understand their problem. Usually, people start by talking about a situation, and they end up revealing their personal considerations about it. The amazing thing is that without doing any questions and without leading the partner, you allow them to reach their own conclusions.
   An example here could help. Assume a friend comes from work and tells you they had a fight with a colleague. The response to that is: ”Today you had a fight with your colleague.” Your friend will respond: ”That’s right, we had a fight because…” If you let that evolve for a little while, you will discover very interesting things about your friend. But most importantly, they will discover these things about themselves too.
2. How do we form our opinion?
   Let’s say a friend of yours talks to you about their trip to Hawaii and tells you how disappointed they are. What is the meaning you get from this sentence? There are three ways to translate your friend’s words. Number one: Hawaii is awful, indeed. Number two: My friend is hard to satisfy. Number three: My friend doesn’t like Hawaii.
   In the first case scenario, the idea that a whole state is ugly just because your friend says so doesn’t make any sense. The second approach is based on the idea that they are not easy-going. This is a suggestion based on our opinion of them and not on their description of the place. The third approach suggests that they had a bad experience, and this is why they are disappointed, which is again our own conclusion.
   It is not necessary to have an opinion about everything. What we should care about is understanding that most of the time, we tend to generalize and not always in the right direction. The previous example may be too simple but consider broadening up this misunderstanding for bigger issues. Can you imagine the mess that is going to be created? What we should pay attention to is carefully listening to what people say and not concluding things that have not been stated.
3. Avoid characterizing people and start naming particular actions
   The previous step is linked to how we form our opinion regarding a certain situation. Our next concern should focus on how to express ourselves and our thoughts. A useful piece of advice here would have to do with how you pass on information to others. When an action takes place, it is easy to characterize the person doing it rather than talking about the action and its results.
   Let’s take the simple example of an individual who lies. The easy thing to do is call the person a liar. Does this person always lie, or is this behavior a reaction to the situation the person is involved in? If the person is constantly making stuff up, it’s hard to resist the temptation of passing judgment on them. However, in many cases, we adopt a particular attitude to respond better to the challenges that will follow. So, mentioning that someone lies rather than characterizing them is preferable. If it is necessary, you can explain what the consequences of such behavior could be and whether we should follow the same path in the future or change direction.

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