Humans love acceptance. Acceptance equals love for many of us and it has very similar qualities with love, indeed. How do we end up being rejected and why do we unintentionally reject other people as well? Today we will find all the answers to an issue that makes most of us thoughtful and anxious about it.
Do people reject us?
People cannot be rejected. What happens mainly is that each one of us moves on at a different pace. Some move faster than others and this is why we are sometimes given the impression that someone has dumped us or moved on. Surely, people move on but this does not have to do with us; we just happen to be near them when this happens. The fact that we are affected by that fact when it takes place, proves that we sometimes focus all of our attention on ourselves without thinking that other people’s choices and reactions are not based on our existence. Focusing on us is a good thing as long as we use it in the right way. In this case, it seems as if we want to feel rejected and confirm a negative belief about ourselves.
Knowledge is not all there is
We often believe that knowledge is what separates mature people from immature people. In reality, most of the time people who are immature have all the information they need to reach the right conclusions. Whether they will put the right advice into practice depends on the level of maturity they have. Actually, what makes the difference between those two categories is the application of the right advice in real life. This is why the immature person does nothing but judge others. The fact that people can be judgemental is proof of the fact that they can clearly understand what is going on and they can distinguish right from wrong. The difficulty is oriented in moving into the part of the action and this is why they appear to reject and judge others.
People pleasers and the failure that waits for them on the corner
According to the famous Russian psychiatrist called Mixhail Litvak, if you want to please others prepare yourself for a big failure. Unfortunately, we cannot do good in all sectors. Wanting what everyone around us wants is impossible. First of all, the people who surround us, do not all want the same things in the first place so pleasing all of them is impossible. If you please one person another one will be disappointed so the best road to follow when you are in this dilemma is to avoid pleasing anyone and focus on pleasing yourself. Each person should care for their own happiness. No one can please us better than we can please ourselves. Just like we should not expect others to be responsible for our own happiness, we cannot hold ourselves responsible for their happiness or misery. Let each one of us be responsible for our own lives and not be affected by other people’s emotions.
We talked earlier about how we should not expect others to please us. The same rule applies to compliments as well. The reason we want others to say good words about us is because we ourselves refuse to be so generous towards us. We cannot find the good intentions within and we hope to find them on an external source. However, when we chose to be strict with us the next thing is that we will be strict with others. We will end up being these judgemental personalities that we hate to come across. If we do not praise ourselves we will never be able to genuinely praise others and be generous with them. Finally, people will not like us and no matter what we do to please them will only push us further away. If you think about it the initial goal will not be accomplished. Being accepted and loved will not be achieved unless we start from ourselves. Once we do that we will see that it is easier to meet people who follow the same path and start attracting personalities that are not toxic.
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