Life is an exciting combination of thinking and feeling. As we move on we learn and love and these two situations are present every time we decide to be open and live. To experience and understand life we have to know the rules that govern our small world. How will we be able to experience all the positivity that is out there? How will we stay away from trouble? These and other questions are being answered in today’s article.
Shame and guilt – stay away no matter what
Shame literally eats our souls. It is one of the most problematic emotions one can experience after guilt. If you think about it shame and guilt are strictly related to each other. The one leads to the other and vice versa. Shame is not just about getting in contact with other people. It is basically about allowing ourselves to be who we are. People who have experienced or witnessed abuse are very sensitive to shame and we believe that it is time for humanity to turn the page and move on.
Human existence beyond a dominant ego
If we take some time to think of where shame has its source we will realize that the ego plays a major role in that. At young ages, the ego is useful to help us survive in a world that is cruel and still unknown to us. As we move forward to the wonderful path of life we come across challenges and sometimes problematic situations that make us wiser. According to psychiatrists and psychologists, midlife is the time to let go of an overdominant ego and start focusing on the deeper significance of human existence. Life has so many hidden gems and gifts that will only be revealed when we make the voice of ego become silent. We have to be open to realizing the beauty of our existence and if we are distracted with how to satisfy ourselves we will never be able to connect with people and nature.
The complex story of who we are
What we do and what we want or say we will do are two completely different things. Who we are is the result of all the interactions that take place within our hearts. It is the outcome that matters and not the intention itself. Of course, the intentions determine the outcome on a great level but if there are obstacles along the way perhaps we will not be able to complete our goals. The obstacles may come from external sources or they may start from our own weaknesses, in any case, as long as we allow them to affect us we cannot blame them for any steps back. It is hard to admit it but in reality, we are not what happened to us but what we decided to be. It is not vital to consider what we owe and what others think of us but it is crucial to think of who we really are and this is a discovery that can make us have to deal with unpleasant surprises so we will have to be ready for all the scenarios that may come up.
Healthy people do not choose abusers
Finally, let us not underestimate the matter of our health. Health is not just about our physical condition. The way we act and our personality has a lot to say about the level of health we experience deep down. We often accuse abusers of their unacceptable behavior towards victims of all kinds and of course this is the right thing to do. In many cases, however, the victims are involved in weird situations because they have previous unresolved issues. This is not said to put the blame on them but to explain that even if their current abuser is punished or disappears in a magical way this does not mean they are done with that. It is extremely likely that personalities like these will attract other abusers in the future. It is, therefore, important to focus on ourselves instead of looking at what others have done right or wrong and this is only to protect ourselves from future troubles.
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