“Noel, caring is sharing!” my five-year old granddaughter reprimands her three-year old sister, who doesn’t want to share her toy. It’s a mantra my daughter uses to teach her children. As I witness this exchange while I “shelter in place” with them in Tampa, Florida, it strikes me that the whole world needs to be reminded of this simple concept.
What do we need to share? Compassion. Simply said, demonstrating compassion means to show kindness, caring and a willingness to help others.
Each of us is being affected in very different ways. For some, it is a real inconvenience, but work and life for the most part continue. Our meetings have turned into video conference calls. Our normal support infrastructure has vanished, childcare, school, household help, etc… We aren’t able to gather for celebrations such as weddings, birthdays or a friend’s successful battle against cancer. Worship, gym exercise and self-care routines are being disrupted. Our travel is curtailed. These impacts are a nuisance, but frankly not that hard.
At the other end of the spectrum in addition to the tens of thousands of people battling the virus itself, there are many people out of work or whose businesses are fighting for survival. They are facing real hardship and there are a lot of them: hairdressers, retail and restaurant workers, performers, event planners, housekeepers, etc. The federal reserve reported last year that 40% of Americans don’t have $400 in the bank for emergency expenses. I know the government is also working on stimulus packages for Americans and business owners however the ramifications of now several months without pay will be felt significantly. If we all can take some measure to support, help, comfort and lend the proverbial hand – it will make a difference.
I had the honor of meeting and speaking with the Dalai Lama several years ago. Compassion is one of the key tenets of his teachings.
“Compassion brings inner peace and whatever else is going on, that peace of mind allows us to see the whole picture more clearly.” Dalai Lama
Research backs up the Dalai Lama statement. The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley has conducted research that supports the premise that leading a compassionate lifestyle improves both mental and physical health. “The reason that a compassionate lifestyle leads to greater psychological well-being may be that the act of giving appears to be as pleasurable as the act of receiving, if not more so. A brain-imaging study led by neuroscientists at the National Institutes of Health showed that the “pleasure centers” in the brain—i.e., the parts of the brain that are active when we experience pleasure (like dessert, money, and sex)—are equally active when we observe someone giving money to charity as when we receive money ourselves!”
Now is the time to help where you can. A couple in my Mountain View neighborhood literally started knocking on doors of neighbors who they didn’t know to see if people needed anything. They met several elderly people who indeed needed help with grocery shopping. Another person in my Nextdoor Whisman Station community reached out to offer to talk on the phone with anyone who needs to talk to someone, to rant, combat loneliness or for any reason at all. I’m continuing to pay my housekeeper and my hairdresser for my regularly scheduled appointments even though the services aren’t being provided. Their income is being severely impacted by the necessary Shelter in Place policies.
So, find ways to show your compassion for others during this very challenging time.
- This can be done through donations to charities that support the most vulnerable in our society. Such as the American Red Cross who is facing massive blood shortages due to blood drive cancellations, your local food bank, Meals on Wheels who feeds the elderly, No Kid Hungry which deploys funds to ensure that kids don’t go hungry especially with schools being closed, etc.
- You can also financially support the Arts or your local businesses. For those not in a position to help financially, you can give the gift of time or effort. For example, there are thousands of people in nursing homes whose families can’t visit. Call one and offer to speak to residents on the phone. Many high-risk people are afraid to go to grocery or drug stores. Offer to do their shopping when you go.
- Use your influence as a leader in business, offer free coaching, support, or tools that can be readily provided to help struggling small businesses and entrepreneurs. Not sure how to get started. Check out organizations such as Score.org and businessadvising.org, both of whom provide confidential business advice through a network of volunteer business people.
- Now is a time more than ever to be a mentor within your company and community. For example I launched online “Ask Me Anything” live sessions to provide perspectives and support to people working through professional or entrepreneurial issues.
- Give your teams the ok to share their concerns, etc.. Sometimes people just need to be heard and know someone cares about them. There’s also a lot to be learned by just listening to the challenges and issues faced by team members.
We are in this together and together we will get through this just as we have overcome past crises. I believe that most of us are compassionate people. Let’s all take at least one action to demonstrate it. As my granddaughter said, “Sharing is caring”.
Written by Shellye Archambeau. Have you read?
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