Check Your Ego: 6 Ways to Put Humility to Work

Your loudest cheerleader during your winning moments is your ego. It relishes your successes and triumphs, and it wants you to revel in them, too, self-satisfied that you are the cause of everything good in the world. The world is divided into winners and losers, and you are a winner, basking in your power.

But left unchecked, this acquisition of power becomes fused with an intense fear of losing it, causing your motivations and actions to be directed by fear, paranoia, and distrust. Even leaders who start with noble intentions can become inebriated with power and corrupted by hubris. The evil Emperor Palpatine, Darth Vader’s master and mentor in the Star Wars franchise, was right when he said, “All those who gain power are afraid to lose it. Even the Jedi.”

Plenty of leaders convince themselves that they’ve checked their egos and have a handle on their power. But they don’t behave that way. Arrogance shows itself in one’s behaviors. So does humility. And as a leader, you need to put humility to work. Here’s how:

Ask questions. Leaders aren’t expected to know everything about everyone’s job. Otherwise, what would you need them for? But leaders are expected to be knowledgeable and informed. Don’t be afraid to ask questions that might reveal your ignorance about a subject. Asking questions is the best way to show that you don’t have all the answers, which others will appreciate.

Show your warts. Don’t pretend to be perfect, because you’re not. People want to be led by leaders who are seasoned and scarred because that’s how wisdom is gained. Young professionals, especially, need to know about the mistakes you’ve made and the do-overs you wish you could have taken. It helps them feel less awkward knowing that even leaders screw up.

Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. The point isn’t to outshine your direct reports. It’s to help bring out the best in them in the service of the mission. Too many leaders default to hiring the least offensive job candidate. Instead, hire people who will lift everyone’s game, including your own. Steve Jobs once said, “It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”

Spend time with people you outrank. Drawing on his Navy SEAL days, John Havlik says, “You’ve got to walk the deck plates.” The folks closest to the work need to know you’re not out of touch with the realities and challenges of the work. Not only will they appreciate the access to you, but they’ll also give you practical insights and ideas that will strengthen your leadership influence and make you smarter.

Open yourself up to feedback. How will you ever know if you’re a good leader if you don’t get feedback from the people you’re leading? If your organization has a 360-degree feedback process, ask to go through it. If not, send an email to your boss, a few peers, and all your direct reports asking them three things: 1. What do they see as your leadership strengths? 2. What suggestions do they have for improving your leadership? 3. What resources can they recommend to leverage your strengths and help improve your leadership?

A word of caution: when you ask for honest feedback, be ready for both the good and the bad! Don’t be the hubristic leader who doesn’t accept negative feedback, especially when you’re the person who asked for it. Be like an Olympic diver: throw out the high and low scores, and take the average of the rest.

Say “thank you” sincerely and often. It’s arrogant not to acknowledge the good work of those who are actively contributing to your success. If you’re one of those leaders who thinks, “Why should I thank them for what they’re getting paid to do?” then you are exactly the person who needs to say “thank you” more often!

How you choose to use your leadership power will determine your fate, well-being, and legacy as a leader. Remember: using power to feed, massage, and cater to your ego is the very essence of arrogance. Using power to serve and empower others is the essence of leadership.

So what will it be?

We trust you. You know the right answer.

Written by John Havlik.

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