All learning, behavior, and change are unconscious. As a baby, you learned how to speak without any teacher helping you. You used a process called modeling. You modeled sounds and language patterns and eventually started to talk. Let’s take the example where you take your car and drive to your destination. This is something you automatically do without thinking about it. If someone asks you if you took the highway or not or where you met a red light during your drive, it is highly possible you will not be able to answer these questions. The question that arises is: If you cannot answer these simple questions, then who was driving the car after all? Below, we provide you with some suggestions on how you can accomplish the desired changes in a relatively short amount of time.
- Listen to the signs
The emotions that lie in the unconscious self try to communicate a message to us. Any unwanted response to an external event is communication from our hidden world. Our unconscious rules our body when we are awake, and when we are asleep. The heart is beating without us noticing, right? Consider that you breathe consciously. Assume an incident takes place, and you lose your focus on breathing? What will happen then? Will you forget to breathe? No. The unconscious will take control in an effort to protect you from dying. Many times even our physical health is a reflection of these messages.
- Let the body take control
The unconscious also maintains all of your instincts and generates habits. Instincts are our immediate response when we sense danger. For example, when you sense danger and you have to run, your body puts off all of the other functions that are not essential at the moment, such as digestion, to send blood to your muscles and help you run faster to escape the danger. When we repeatedly do some actions, our mind takes the running of these behaviors and applies them to specific concepts.
- Resolve issues
We work better when we act as an integrated whole. It is tough to accomplish the desired change when we catch ourselves saying, ”a part of me wants this, but another part wants that.” We need to resolve the issues that the divided part is holding on to. However, keep in mind that we are greedy. As long as we fix an issue, or as long as we achieve a goal, the reason sets new goals and invites us to solve new problems. There will always be something new to learn.
- Avoid guilt
Without realizing it, we are highly moral beings. We follow the moral code that our parents and society brought to us until the age of seven. It is why not everybody has the same map of what is moral and what is not. Most of the time, this results in feeling useless guilt for things we cannot even control. Avoid verbal abuse to yourself, underestimating your sense of duty. Your willingness to be fair and moral was never your ability. It is something you have been taught, and you don’t hold any blame on how this will turn out.
- Be in rapport with yourself
Problems in our mind exist because we are out of report with our unconscious. Consider that your conscious self is the captain of a boat. As a captain, he has some tasks to do. He has to decide on the direction where he wishes the ship to go. He has to give instructions to the crew, and he has to listen to what the staff has to say. Assuming the unconscious mind is the crew, what options does the team have? The crew can follow the instructions, ignore them, and even go ahead and do the exact opposite. To achieve better communication with the crew, you can’t give general instructions. You have to be particular about what you want them to do and describe them in detail the steps they have to follow. In addition, you have to stop pressuring yourself when you refuse to take a specific direction. This simply means you are not ready for that.
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