Four Ways to Help Employees and Managers Collaborate in Times of Crisis

A Stanford University study of CEOs in 2013 found that the skill set CEOs felt they needed most was conflict resolution. One way to define conflict is “our inability to collaboratively solve problems with other people.”

If CEOs really want to understanding conflict resolution, what they really need to know is how to inspire managers and employee to keep collaborating, even when problems appear difficult or impossible to resolve.

This may feel obvious, but it’s much easier said than done.

When collaboration fails in the wake of difficult problems, fear and an instinct toward self-preservation kick in, destroying the bonds that make teamwork and problem solving actually work.

Conflict feels dangerous for most people. We avoid it if we can. If we can’t avoid, we either give in or prepare to fight. Fear of conflict plagues our personal, professional, and societal relationships: fear of conflict itself, fear of the people we are in conflict with, fear of pain, fear of not being loved or seen the way we want to be seen, fear that we are woefully unprepared and ill-equipped to handle the problems that beset us.

When we let that fear of conflict, and the people we are in it with, take hold, our ability to actually solve the problems that underlie our disputes diminish dramatically.

Here’s the paradox that makes conflict feel dangerous: when conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight.

To transform conflict, we need to turn toward others, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and stay deeply connected to the people we are in conflict with. I call that sort of connection “dangerous love”—a love that overcomes fear in the face of conflict.

When dangerous love takes hold, our views—of ourselves, others, and the conflict itself— transform. We no longer see enemies or others. We see us.

That is the level of care and concern toward the people we are in conflict with needed to solve the most difficult, intractable challenges we face in life. That is the type of commitment needed to overcome gridlock in the workplace and collaboratively engage in problem-solving.

How do you do it?

Step 1: Encourage our Managers and Employees to Let Go of Our Fear of Conflict

People have an extraordinary capacity to find lasting solutions to their problems when their humanity is valued and respected.

When people believe that their problems are unsolvable, they quit asking questions. They stop being creative. They double down on what hasn’t worked in the past. They choose conflict tools such as avoidance, accommodation, or competition to get what they want. And they almost always end up unhappy.

Conflict doesn’t have to be scary. It can actually be the catalyst that helps improve our relationships if we possess the right tools to transform it from destructive to constructive conflict. When people know that conflict can actually solve problems and can be a positive, they are more likely to engage it from a positive mindset and choose tools like collaboration that will lead to lasting solutions.

Step 2: Inspire Leaders and Employee to Let Go of Our Fear of the People We Are in Conflict With

When we change the way we see the people we are in conflict with, we create space that invites new possibilities and solutions to our problems.

The more we seek to understand the “whys” and the reasons why particular issues are important to others, the more we are able to understand others needs and how we might be able to construct solutions that help everyone — the key tenet to real collaboration.

When we see others humanity so clearly that their needs and desires matter as much to me as my own, we begin letting go of self-concern and start embracing us-concern. If we are ever going to be successful at the work we believe in, our co-workers and customers have to be part of that success.

This shift is critical to helping us let go of the justifications that keep us holding on to the false belief that “I’m not responsible for solutions; they are.”

Step 3: Invite Employees and Managers to Turn First

We have to be the first to turn toward the other person—the first to offer an apology, acknowledgment, respect, or a collaborative solution.

Acting first isn’t a sign of weakness. Dangerous love is not passive. It is bold. It requires sacrifice. Your coworkers may not respond by seeing you as a person. But if you don’t act in a way that shows that you honor the needs of the people we are trying to solve problems with, then it won’t take long before you turn away again.

It is on us to find the love and courage necessary to break the escalation cycle of conflict by taking a journey through what hasn’t worked in the past. Once we are clear about what is not working, the path to dangerous love gets much clearer.

Step 4: Invite Them to Turn

Small acts of acknowledgment, recognition, humility, and determination to find mutually beneficial solutions invite others to turn. Dangerous love doesn’t require grand gestures. It requires an intentional commitment to loving some- one through conflict every day.

How do we do that?

• Take the time to check in. When we feel connected to people and people feel connected to us, the chances that we fall out of dangerous love diminish. Regularly check in with people about how they are feeling, what they are struggling with, and how you might help.
• Spend more time building relationships and listening and less time teaching or correcting. When we do make time with people, make sure that it isn’t spent just fixing them or teaching them. Do things for the sake of the relationship. Listen without an agenda.
• Ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions. When conflict does rear its head, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What is it that I don’t understand?” When we are seeing people as objects, we are quick to make assumptions about motives and character. When we see people as people, we are curious why people think, feel, and act the way they do. The question “why” is a magic one. The more you ask why, the more understanding you’ll have and the better you’ll be able to find a collaborative solution to your problems.
• Stay consistent. Trust is built through consistency. While it might be incredibly difficult, it is important to keep positively engaging them, even when they don’t do it back. And if you slip up, be quick to admit, apologize without justification, and go back to loving again.

By making small, incremental improvements in the way we live and work with other people, we slowly start to rebuild the trust that opens up space for them to turn as well and we radically improve our ability to collaborate through the most difficult challenges our organizations face.

Commentary by Chad Ford. Here’s what you’ve missed?
Highest Paying Primary And Secondary Education Jobs.
Highest Paying Healthcare Support Jobs.
Highest Paying Healthcare Jobs.