Playing with Words. Delving into Systems

In recent months, my daughter introduced me to The New York Times game Connections. The Times describes it as a word game that challenges players to find themes between words. Players are given 16 words and see groups of four items that share something in common.

For example:

• FISH: Bass, Flounder, Salmon, Trout
• Things that start with FIRE: Ant, Drill, Island, Opal

Each group is assigned a color (yellow, green, blue, or purple), with yellow as the most straightforward category and purple as the most challenging. Each puzzle has exactly one solution and is designed to be tricky by featuring words that could fit into multiple categories. Words and categories are curated by editors using the Oxford Dictionary.

I was immediately drawn to the game because I enjoy connecting words, ideas, and themes that aren’t always intuitive. This is how I make metaphors and stories that don’t seem to relate to the topic at hand. But they show a point instead of explaining it. I learned this from Toni Louw, a top presentation trainer, about 30 years ago.

From Connections to Relationships 

It’s one thing to make connections; it’s quite another to look deeper to see relationships. This dynamic explains why I am so attracted to Systems Thinking. As Michael Goodman explains, Systems Thinking involves identifying behavior patterns over time and surfacing the underlying structures that drive those events and patterns. By understanding and adjusting structures not serving us well, we can expand the available choices and create more effective, long-term solutions to persistent challenges.

Values and Behaviors Exercise 

During my work with CEO Forums, we discuss the three essential ingredients found in all top-performing groups: 1) a commitment to continuous improvement, 2) intentional and collateral learning, and 3) servant leadership. Adding these ingredients successfully and sustainably requires leveraging the five factors essential to the highest-performing forums: 1) Right People, 2) Psychological Safety, 3) Productivity, 4) Accountability, and 5) Leadership.

Starting with the right people, I ask the members to identify the values and behaviors they believe are necessary to be strong contributors to the group. They articulate what they expect of themselves, their colleagues, and any new members who wish to be part of their unique ensemble. Having the right people in the room means living up to the values and behaviors they created for themselves and understanding, with greater clarity, their commitment to one another.

Here’s a sample listing of what they typically identify: 

Curiosity, Vulnerability, Courage, Trust, Authenticity, Caring, Empathy, Integrity, Growth-Mindset, Prepared, Engaged, Open, Confidentiality, Generosity, Respectful, Helpful, Candor, Non-Judgmental, Participative, Humility, Committed 

These words identify areas of intentionality, clarify their expectations of one another, and provide guidance for interviewing prospective members. The members understand that if they intentionally bring their best selves to every meeting, they will continue to elevate the quality of their engagements to new heights.

A big reason is that we take time to identify and leverage the relationships among these words, which, in combination, shape behaviors and offer guidance for delivering on the remaining four factors. For example, let’s look at creating and maximizing group psychological safety. While all of the words pertain to psychological safety in some way, the relationships these words share provide a roadmap for realizing it. Here’s one example:

Curiosity, Vulnerability, Courage, Trust, Authenticity, Caring, Empathy, Integrity, Growth-Mindset, Prepared, Engaged, Open, Confidentiality, Generosity, Respectful, Candor, Non-Judgmental, Helpful, Participative, Humility, Committed

The words in bold letters tell a story about creating psychological safety when we consider their relationship with one another. Confidentiality is sacrosanct. What happens in the meeting stays in the meeting, creating the environment for people to bring more than their highlight reel; they are allowed to be real.

This confidential environment inspires one to be open with the group but not necessarily vulnerable. The difference?

Open: “I just became a grandfather for the third time.” Vulnerable: “My company is underperforming against our goal because I misread the market.”  The “open” statement communicates an event that marks a milestone in one’s personal life.

The “vulnerable” statement risks compromising one’s professional currency with the membership. If the group can take judgment off the table, vulnerability theoretically disappears, but that’s unrealistic. However, the forum members can make the environment less-judgmental by leaning into their curiosity rather than rushing to judgment, jumping to conclusions, or making erroneous assumptions. Doing so will help build the high trust necessary to create a more psychologically safe environment.

Ask members to break into small groups and discover their own word relationships. Once they do, they will create some amazing narratives. The words may tell the group what they want, but the connections and relationships among the words will tell them how to get there. Feel free to try this exercise with your teams as well. It will be a game-changer.

Summary  

Connections and other word games help build relationships, too. Every morning, my daughter and I share our results with one another through text message – regardless of whether we solved the puzzle that day or not. Because of the color grid, we can also tell whether we arrived at our answers in the same order or not. We spot generational differences in word meaning; sometimes, the word connections come naturally to a Millennial, and other times, the nod goes to the Boomer. Truthfully, she’s a bit better at this game than I am—another area I can add to my “room for improvement” list.

Written by Leo Bottary.
Have you read?
Countries with the most gold reserves.
World’s Best Public Relations Agencies (Top PR Firms).
Countries with the highest human freedom.
World’s Safest & Most Dangerous Countries For Travelers.
Longest and Shortest Life Expectancies in the World.