How the best leaders influence by listening

In the flight deck, on our worst days when, without notice, the normal becomes an emergency, the most valuable resource is our team. We need them, their knowledge and skills, and all the input they can provide, willingly. This is the key to success, and safe operations. It’s not just beneficial. It’s essential.

So how can we do this? It takes more than procedures, manuals and policies. Humans are not machines.

After four decades and 22000 hours of flying experience, training and examining, managing, building teams and departments, I share one of the most important lessons of all, and how it can rapidly propel us to become the most respected and influential leaders of all. And remember, we have to give our crew – our staff – reason to respect and follow us. We can’t force it. They have to want to. And when times are tough, we really need them.

The answer is: Listen, truly listen. It will supercharge our leadership. 

It’s no secret – well maybe it is for some – that listening is crucial for a successful personal relationship. The truth is, it’s vital for any relationship. No-one wants to hear someone constantly telling them what to do, how to do their job, or to hear their view of the state of the world. That’s guaranteed to shut someone down; switch them off. Their eyes may be on you but they’re somewhere else. And if they’re all but staring at you, they are definitely not in the same place as you.

Under normal operating circumstances, normal hierarchy reins. Under abnormal or emergency conditions, specialist knowledge and skills take precedence.  

Remember, we want their knowledge and skills. We are not the expert in all fields. They are. But we want all of it – all the knowledge they will give us, and every bit of their skill. And this applies in the good times and the not good. They can take us from bad to good, from risky to safe, and from good to great. Even if things seem to be running well, we still won’t know what their ‘best’ is unless we create the right environment, welcome the information; then decide.

But we need them to talk. So just how do we do this? Have them talk to us, and tell us ‘the lot?’

Ask, ask, ask, don’t tell. 

Even if you know the answer (or what you think is the answer), asking is powerful. It shows immense respect for them and their opinion, and it demonstrates the key to real power – humility.

If we’re humble, people will open up to us. Humility does not equal weakness. Note too, the quieter we speak, the more effective we are (just make sure they can hear us). And those times when someone tells us something that stops us in our tracks? We can’t believe they said it? That’s no fluke. It’s deliberate. They meant for us to hear it. They’re demonstrating that they can trust us, and we must repay that trust. They’re testing us out, to see how much they can reveal.

The risk of the ‘minimum plus’. 

Please note this: If our staff don’t feel secure to be totally open, indeed if there is any degree of fear (of job security), the real risk is we’ll get the ‘minimum plus’ – just enough to keep themselves safe. Here again, we’ll never know what their top performance is.

In business as in our personal lives, we need the truth. We need to thank them for uncovering it all.

Gain something much better than power or authority – influence. 

The truth is we only have power or authority by virtue of a role or title. We soon find out if we’ve done a good job when we no longer have that role. If we haven’t treated them well and earned their respect, they won’t give us the time of day when we pass them in the street. Any control we had over others is gone. If we’ve earned their respect, we’ll have something far more potent, and that’s influence – and influence doesn’t wane. It’s permanent.

It makes sense then to build it while we’re in our role.

Listen. Just listen, a lot. Then make your decisions and watch your standing soar..

Written by Chris Smith.

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