Chief Executive Insights

50 million dollars and still not happy

Raf Adams

The man who has it all… except happiness. Five thousand retail stores in China worth …., he is wildly successful but unhappy!

Here was a guy who had it all. The money, the power, the success, but something was missing, and he knew it. He could just not identify what it was. 

It’s something that I have seen year, after year, after year. Some people reach success but still do not feel fully fulfilled. The question that arises is, what is missing even though you have it all?

To know this, we must distinguish real success by what we have in our lives externally and internally. 

Externally, leadership success is often defined by our roles and what we acquire. 

What we have internally is linked to our emotions, happiness and fulfilment and there are four main areas we must grow in, to be balanced internally and externally. 

These four areas are: 

  1. Emotional stability:
    Emotional stability includes the ability to manage change. For example, to manage emotionally sudden changes in the business environment due to unforeseen events. It also includes emotional stability in your relationships, marriage and business relationships. It includes emotional changes in your private life.
  2. Mental stability:
    The capacity to observe your thoughts instead of controlling situations and being attached to outcomes. The ability to overcome fears and limiting beliefs in business and personal relationships.
  3. Physical stability:
    This includes taking care of your body by eating well, sleeping well, exercising regularly and nurturing your body as your vehicle. 
  4. Spiritual stability:
    This includes being deeply connected with your purpose in life, making decisions aligned with your values, and having a vision for yourself

If any of these areas are out of balance, there will be internal anxiety and stress. 

Because emotional, mental and spiritual stability is intangible, it is often difficult to grasp what is missing in our lives.

Often when we don’t feel happy, we search for external solutions to numb the internal feelings of lack of fulfilment. This was exactly why this wealthy entrepreneur hired me to coach him. He was successful, but he wanted something more.

Often in midlife, when people reach success, there is a turning point in terms of mindset. The question that arises is, “what’s next? I thought I had it all, but still, something is still missing.”

During these times, soul searching begins, as people search for deeper meaning and fulfilment in life.

It is the internal journey of self-discovery that begins. 

This journey does not has knowledge as answers.

It is a journey of awareness and internal, mental, emotional and spiritual growth. 

And your health is often reflection of how these three areas are managed. If you are mentally, emotionally or spiritually not balanced, it manifests itself through health issues.

So how do you move forward when you have it all but want something more? 

They key is to managing emotional, mental and spiritual growth. 

Here are 5 steps to do this:

  1.  Enhance your self-awareness: knowledge, success, and job titles are all external. Awareness is internal. To increase your happiness and fulfilment, self-awareness is needed. Why? Your values are unique. Your purpose is different from your peers and family. Self-awareness stimulates the discovery process – what is crucial for you to live a life true to your deepest values, desires and dreams?
  2. Get a coach or mentor: get support on your life journey from a coach or mentor who has already achieved internal balance and can create a safe space of discovery and growth. Learn how they did it and how you can apply it in your life too.
  3. Read more philosophy: why? Because philosophy gives room for new thinking and ideas to happen. Philosophy stimulates your thinking process. Each time you have a new awareness, that awareness can be used to make better decisions. Philosophy helps stimulate and improve the quality of the thinking process.
  4. Give yourself space and time: space and time allow you to make better quality decisions. The way to listen to the heart is by going beyond the mind. When you go beyond the mind, the heart has a chance to speak. This is why holidays are so important because they allow us to disconnect from our mind and gives an opportunity for our heart to speak.
  5. Get in touch with your emotions: each emotion in your body is a messenger. If we are happy, it’s because we are internally happy. That is the state we want to be in. If our happiness depends on the external, it means that if the external changes, our happiness changes. 

All these 5 areas focus on internal growth. In Buddhism, the journey of life is the journey towards self-realisation. American mythologist Joseph Campbell, well known for his work on the hero’s journey, always encouraged people to “follow your bliss”.

If you don’t have money, you suffer. If you don’t have internal balance, you suffer.

So if you come to a point in your life where you have reached your goals and external desires, take time to reflect and integrate your internal needs. It is the only way to be truly successful.

Warmly,

Raf Adams – Author of The Suited Monk.

”I am a life mentor and write thought pieces and provide perspective on life and leadership to help people to increase the quality of their decision making. By doing so, achieve mental, emotional and spiritual balance be more effective and make a positive difference for themselves, their teams, company and society.


Written by Raf Adams.
Have you read?
Hire People With Heart to Build a Highly Engaged Team by Mark C. Crowley.
The Danger of Armchair Psychology by Dr. Gleb Tsipursky.
When your goal seems impossible, take a pause and look back by Michael J. Garry.
CEO lessons from the “Prince of the Desert” Alphadi by Dr. Mandeep Rai.
How uniforms can boost workplace culture by Pamela Jabbour.

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Raf Adams
My name is Raf Adams, I am a coach, speaker, and mentor focusing on helping people achieve mental, emotional, and career balance in their career and personal life. I lived in China for 12 years, Belgium and now I live in Barcelona Spain. Since 2009, I have held Suited Monk and Suited Monk Leadership workshops for individuals and international companies. The Suited Monk has been translated into Chinese, English and is published through editorial Amat in Spanish in 2019.


Raf Adams is an opinion columnist for the CEOWORLD magazine. Connect with him through LinkedIn. For more information, visit the author’s website.