WHAT ARE THE SIX LEADERSHIP LANDMARKS

Being a leader is both challenging and draining. To survive, all great leaders have “secrets” to keep them healthy, sharp, agile, in the move towards their best selves. As their coach for 20 years, I have had access to their secrets and would like now to share them to help executives overcome obstacles and be happier and more successful. 

As I coach, I take notes and never throw them away. I collected them from my 20,000+ hours of coaching. And then, I categorized the notes according to the most frequently shared concerns I had heard. The purpose there was to protect me from my own biases. Incidentally, I had no idea what those concerns would be and, if you had asked me, I would have bet on very different ones. 

The most frequently shared concerns I had heard are the following: 

#1. Awareness: how to accept who I am? How to know myself better? How to recharge my batteries? 

#2. Agility: How to be more open to change? How to deal with complexity? How to better understand the new generation? 

#3. Environment: How to have a positive impact on the planet? How to be aligned with my values? How to get my energy back? 

#4. Demandingness: How do I go from a delivering to a mastering mindset? How can I be successful in my role? How do I reach milestones? 

#5. Kindness: How to develop my human side? How to create a positive mindset? How to improve my listening skills? 

#6. Co-vision: How can we see the big picture? How to fulfil a common purpose? How can we make our job more meaningful?  

That being said, how do great leaders overcome their fears and obstacles?  

First, they are aware that they are not invincible. They don’t hide they have doubts, fears, and questions. They are open to sharing their vulnerabilities, and to doing something about them. they accept who they are.  

Second, they understand that behind each weakness there is a strength, just as behind each tragedy, there is an opportunity. They see the light at the end of the tunnel. As a successful businesswoman told me: “Our job is to overcome obstacles and to have the ability to see things from a new perspective when the horizon darkens.” 

Third, they know how to recharge their batteries: they reconnect to what is essential to them. They take some time for themselves, they seek inspiration in surprising places (e.g. museums) or they meet people that care about them (e.g. family members or peers) or they care about (e.g. children, old parents). They can also connect to their passion (e.g. horse riding). A kind of disruption in the everyday routine is needed to stay alert, curious and both inspired and grounded. 

Now, based on what my coachees and I have co-built, let me share with you some takeaways to encourage the following:  

#1. Awareness 

• Stop running for a minute – step back and just be. Ask yourself key questions about your drivers and your own resources.
• Embody a ‘coaching mindset’: develop and maintain a mindset that is open, curious, flexible and client-centred. 
• Keep an individual or team (e)notebook in which you write down what you have achieved each day and the skills you’ve acquired. It is good for your self-esteem to remember everything that you have accomplished. 
• Be yourself, don’t play a role and, at the same time, adapt to the people you interact with. 
• Remember that relationships are key. Think about who you can count on and who can count on you. This is also good for your self-esteem. 
• Remember that you are not alone. A doctor, therapist, coach or friend – sometimes even a pet – can help you express your emotions and move forward.

#2. Agility 

• Acknowledge and accept what is here now (it may not be OK, but it is here): embrace reality so you can change it rather than simply reacting to it. 
• Envisage any obstacles as ways to learn. Consider that difficulties may be opportunities: it depends on the way you see them. 
• Understand (rationally) and feel (emotionally) the cause of what you want to change and visualize the benefit or outcome of the change. 
• Stay open. What made you successful yesterday might not make you successful tomorrow because everything, including you, is changing. 
• Give everyone a chance to get on board. 
• Focus your energy on helpers, doers and givers – they will be your ambassadors. Don’t waste your energy on complainers, or others might unconsciously see the complainers’ attitude as the one to adopt. 
• Keep your energy levels high, taking care of yourself and others.

#3. Environment 

• Address things you find toxic and find a safe place where you can share. 
• Make sure that your work environment is aligned with your values and your identity. 
• Do your best to ensure that what you do is good for you, your loved ones and the planet. Ponder the impacts of your decisions on people and the planet. 
• Find a place to recharge your batteries properly. 
• Use your sense of humor (where everybody laughs) and not sarcasm (where everybody laughs except one person). Humor – where appropriate – helps people to maintain perspective and keep some vital distance. 
• Build trust by doing what you say and saying what you do. Set an example around values and common interests. Also, share your failings: don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. 
• Listen, listen, listen; learn, learn, learn. Observe what is going on around you. Respect nature, difference and diversity, and act accordingly. 
• Think upstream (to work on causes) and downstream (to work on consequences) at the same time. Also, try to consider problems from both the short-term and the long-term perspective. 
• Protecting human and natural resources is good, of course, but not seeing them as resources we could over-exploit is better; the “overs” are destroying our planet. 

#4. Demandingness 

• Be fully conscious and present with the people you deal with. Employ a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident.
• Focus on your strengths first. Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you and do your best to adapt to your new working environment while maintaining your integrity (don’t pretend to be somebody else). After a few weeks or months in your new position, explicitly ask for a feedback session with your boss or coachee: “Are we aligned on what you expect from me? Do you have any advice for me?” Ask for permission to share what has amazed and surprised you. Be open and promote a culture of feedback. 
• Think about how things might change if you stopped spending all your time delivering. Think about what your department or company could look like in two years. Think ahead, think about what you are paid for, what is your added value and what your organization expects from you. 
• Focus on shared interests and values, explicit goals, clear intentions, and promoting trust. 
• Think about your top priorities. Write down key indicators of success and then sketch out a plan to achieve them (plan for contingencies as well). Then follow up, enjoy the moment, and be demanding and kind at the same time.

#5. Kindness 

• COVID-19 is one pandemic, but there are other ones, such as being exhausted. Not sleeping well negatively alters your vision of the world. Losing your self-esteem is another pandemic, so take care of yourself and practice self-compassion. How can you promote a kind environment if you’re not kind to yourself? Become your own best friend. 
• Listen, listen, listen. Listen to what is said and to what is not said to fully understand what is being communicated in its full context, and to support people’s self-expression. Improve your perceptiveness. Put aside your biases when you are listening. Express what you feel if it’s appropriate to do so and ask others to do the same. Be open. 
• Create a safe environment where it’s fully OK to share fragilities – an environment in which people can trust one another. 
• Never miss an opportunity to get to know your colleagues better. Focus on what you have in common, not what keeps you apart. 
• Be resilient and remember that obstacles are there to be overcome – see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have more resources than you think. How can you use them effectively? 
• Get support from your superiors at work and have a coach or a mentor who can support you. Make sure that people are evaluated not only on their output but also on their behavior (and have standards for that behavior). 
• Promote a culture of feedback to help people – including yourself – grow. 
• Learn how to listen to your body and to your heart – most of the time, they don’t lie – it’s a good way to be kind to yourself and, therefore, to others. 

#6. Co-vision 

• Accept being challenged. 
• Challenge the status quo. 
• Use collective intelligence, evoke awareness, facilitate people’s insight, and learn by using techniques such as powerful questioning, silence, metaphor and analogy.
• Surround yourself with great people. 
• Think of everything you have ever done as contributions to your life journey and to your vision. 
• Transform limiting beliefs into elevating beliefs. 
• Consider that the people around you may have more resources than you think.

Written by Marc Beretta.

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