The 3 Parameters that Determine Dialogue

Every time a conversation takes place, we tend to believe the content determines the evolution of the discussion, while in reality, it is always about the form. Every person with an open mind in dialogue has something hidden in the backside of their head. As it turns out, modern psychology implies that it always has to do with the three things I will discuss in this article.

1. 1. Power and control
      A common issue that worries people is whether they are powerful enough and have control over things. People do not need to feel as powerful as we think. The leading cause that makes them seek power is that they do not feel safe, and in order to feel safe, we all need to have a sense of control over things. Consider you live thousands of years ago in a cave with your family. The times you did not have control over things were when a danger came up, for instance, a wild animal. Every time an individual of those times was safe, that was strictly related to its ability to control. This instinct follows us today in every aspect of our lives, including social interactions. However, remember that no matter how good-willing one can be, we all expect others to take the first step and allow us to have the desired power. The same rule applies to all three parameters I discuss in this article. Those who are smooth when it comes to communication allow others to feel safe and powerful first. Once the person we talk with feels that, they become more open to us and allow us to present our arguments.
   2. Closeness and intimacy
      Another pillar that rules all conversations is where we stand regarding the other person. It is important to have a sense of friendship in the atmosphere if we want to get along. People do not talk just to determine what is right and what is wrong. The basis of the dialogue is not just about determining future goals or analyzing past mistakes, etc. It is basically about getting to know each other and communicating. Some people are ok with being loners, but no one will reject the warmth of a nice conversation between friends. This state is a place where people cannot only relax but also allow themselves to interact with others on a more intuitional level. The way we look at others is important here. A smile will help the other person build that sense of closeness and intimacy that is so important for the continuity of the conversation. Even body language can be activated to gain the other person’s trust. Finally, the tone should be warm and sweet if you want to help people consider you a friend.
   3. Respect and recognition
      Last but not least, everyone wants to be recognized. During a dialogue, we often share our perspectives regarding certain issues. Believing that at least some of them are being accepted is vital. This will help us feel that we are being accepted as well. We may like, love, or even admire someone and still disagree with their arguments during a conversation. Just because we disagree doesn’t mean we hate the other person. Still, most of the population is not mature enough to realize that. Our intentions are often misunderstood, and people believe we dislike them. Others move on to the next step of disliking us just because we disagree. For every individual, the most crucial thing is to preserve their sense of self-respect, and they will do anything to protect their feelings. To avoid making them feel rejected, we can use some of their arguments with which we agree before we move on and point out what we disagree. This way, we will allow them to feel respected without having to follow their suggestions as long as we believe they are wrong.

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