How Do People With Commitment Issues Think And What Leads Them There?

Today we will attempt to step into the mind of a person who suffers from commitment issues. Is it rational? Should these people change?

Let’s have a closer look.

1. Commitment is translated into losing freedom
   Freedom is an interesting word. Its conceiving was made by ancient Greeks. For Greeks, freedom was the state where you would go where you love and you would follow your heart. Being free was only translated to that. Many years after that a theoretical of the social sciences, Carl Marx would give another definition. According to him, freedom was the moment an individual would realize its deeper needs. Even though these two definitions are quite different they both refer to our connection with our heart and what we want. People who do not want to lose their freedom in a relationship are often unaware of what freedom means. Freedom is not about not being attached, it is about allowing yourself to be happy. If a relationship or a particular person brings that joy to your life you have no reason to avoid them. On the contrary, letting them enter your world is the ultimate act of freedom.

   

2. Enjoying the lifestyle of a single
   Some people are afraid of ”losing their freedom” but some people are happy just the way they live already. It is funny but in some cases, commitment issues are no issues at all. In fact, some people are in perfect accordance with their inner self and for them being single is just the way they like things to be. It is not necessary for everyone to have the same needs and follow the same lifestyle. Many times, it is us who have to respect the diversity in others and allow them to be different. Society has space for both those who want to be in long-term relationships and those who prefer to change partners or even not have partners at all.
3. Always chasing for something better
   It is sad when people are in the constant chase of something better. Happiness is not defined as the state where you have everything you want. Nope! According to psychologists happiness is the state where you are completely happy with what you have. The first situation is a sign of greediness and the happiness is only temporary since it won’t be long until the person will move on to other desires they will have to fulfill. Being in this condition will never allow you to stay happy.

   

   It is not only the fear of the commitment here. It is also the fear of not having the best according to your potential. Not moving on to the next step in a relationship is the least of the disasters that can follow this mindset. The worst is that these people are moving more and more away from happiness.

4. Being in fear of responsibilities
   Among other stuff, commitment is translated into responsibilities and people who dislike them will probably not be great fans of commitment either. It is fair not to be crazy about being responsible, even though there are people out there who really enjoy taking responsibility. However, when this prevents someone from enjoying some aspects of life, they should perhaps pay some thought to that. Whatever works as a block on our further development can be treated with respect but still has to be treated as something we have to overcome.

   

5. Unhealed traumas of past relationships
   Past experience can act as bright stars showing our way to what is ideal. On many occasions, these stars shine in the wrong way. It is not rare for people who have had bad experiences in the past, to believe this is pretty much how things work every time. Pat examples are not statistical data. Just because it happened once, doesn’t mean it is always going to be that way. Statistics is a science that is applied only in large samples. One case does not imply a universal truth that we should take as granted. Even if we had good experiences in the past, this neither means they are going to repeat. In other words, the tendency to generalize may be misleading.