The insecurity problem impacting our leaders

Although the American election results are yet to be formally finalised, it appears that the shitshow of the Donald trump era has come to an end. While the votes are being counted, and recounted, it gives us a chance to take a breath and ponder why it is that the ones with the most power are also some of the most crazy and insecure people alive.

This is not simply a 2020 issue with the likes of Donald, Boris, Kim and Vladimir. Throughout the centuries there have been many examples of political leaders whose stability has been questionable at best, and others who have been undoubtedly impaired to the point of madness!

Of course, there have been some notable exceptions to the craziness. Jacinda, Barak, Angela and that guy from Sweden, but they certainly are few and far between. The strange and childish behaviour in the political arena has become so common place, it’s almost status quo for what we’ve come to expect from those who have custodianship of the world we live in.

In case you’ve not understood what causes such poor behaviour, here are some clues that many of our world leaders and politicians are driven by a deep insecurity:

• There is always something to prove and defend
• It is very hard to tell if they are actually telling the truth
• They seem much more interested in looking good than doing good
• Endless game playing, hidden agendas and obfuscation
• No backing down when found to be wrong
• Manipulation and control through fear-based tactics
• Policies based on what will win votes rather than honest leadership based on what is right.

The reason they are so insecure, is the same reason we all battle with insecurity. It is our core need for significance that drives us to discover our value and worth.  As children, we can only outsource the meeting of this need due to the lack of emotional intelligence and capacity for self-validation. Seeking external acceptance, approval and validation is entirely natural for the child, yet when adults still look outside themselves for significance and self-worth, it is always incredibly dysfunctional.

It is unresolved insecurity that leaves an adult attaching their entire self-worth to their ability to perform, achieve and receive acceptance and praise from those around them.

Because of the real opportunity for power, prominence and title in the political arena, it is particularly attractive for those who are most insecure and needy! Therefore, politics always collects a disproportionate number of insecure people and due to the public nature of politician’s work, their insecurity is on display for the world to see.

When insecure people are in power the suffering in the world will only increase. Their capacity to make decisions for the good of the world is severely compromised. All their focus is directed to meeting their own needs instead. Unfortunately, the all too common tale of our political leaders is that they are far more concerned with looking good rather than doing good.

The natural order of growth and maturity is to fully become an adult. This means becoming self-sufficient not just physically and financially, but also emotionally, relationally and physiologically. To do this requires a person to be the one who validates their own existence, deeply loves and accepts themselves and fills their own emotional needs.

For our global leaders to genuinely do good in the world requires them to show up as fully formed adults with nothing to prove or defend. True purpose and influence are only possible from a place of wholeness.

It is the universal fear of not being good enough that drives people to fill their cup externally. They seek validation from the world based on the size and strength of what they can do. They use what looks like purpose to prove their worth and value. To prove they can contribute. To prove they can inspire others. To prove they can change the world. Yet it cannot be anyone’s purpose to prove that they matter.

The adult work each of us are required to do is to discover our inherent worth separate from what we do, or have, or what anyone else thinks of us – then we are free to really connect with purpose. It now becomes possible to go into the world with our cup full. Now we have something to give and we are free to contribute out of the essence of who we really are. Then we can connect with a purpose that is bigger than us and not even about us.

Thankfully insecurity is a problem that can and must be solved. The people who make the most significant contributions to the world do so from a place of wholeness and personal security.

Written by Jaemin Frazer.