Paid Half as Much as My Male Colleague: What I Did to Address Workplace Inequality
While the existence of a gender pay gap across countries and industries is common knowledge, it is rare to think we are personally affected by it, and even more difficult to find out if we are. I, for example, had never thought about the gender pay gap in my specific work situation, until the day it appeared right in front of my eyes – and from there I could not unsee what I had just seen.
But let’s take a step back. When I got my first salary, I was happy to have a salary; as I advanced to managerial positions, I was grateful to be offered a small pay raise each time. Content with my set-up, I never thought about negotiating my salary, asking for a different pay raise than what was suggested, let alone asking other colleagues – or specifically male colleagues – about their salary, so I could compare my salary with theirs. This went on for years. But, one day – happy with my newly confirmed promotion – while going through documents on my desk I found the HR dossier of the guy that was going to take over the position from which I had just been promoted, and which was now under my responsibility and management line. His salary was double mine.
There is a reason as to why. Several reasons, actually. He had more seniority than me, was slightly older and had been with the organization for a longer time. But what made a difference was that – until recently – he was in a higher-level position with a higher salary grade, which hadn’t worked out. This person was somehow being demoted while I got promoted – but without an adjustment to our respective salary grades. I put my foot down, and told my managers and the HR department that I wouldn’t sign my new contract if it wasn’t at least 1 EUR more than this colleague I was now going to supervise, and overnight I doubled my salary.
I discovered the real reasons behind the divergence of our salaries by speaking openly about it with this colleague. He had been negotiating at every contract renewal, asking for a higher raise than what they were proposing and securing it, and – from what he had heard from other male colleagues – this was a common practice. I had never done that – not even thought about doing it, and had never heard a female colleague speaking about salary negotiations. This is what explained such a significant salary difference between the two of us, beyond demotions and promotions, beyond seniority or other criteria. The fact that, over time, he had increased his salary at a higher rate than mine.
Research confirms this. Women are less likely to negotiate salaries compared to men and, when they do, research shows they don’t achieve the same level of success. A small difference at each step of the way which though, accumulated over time, creates a significant pay gap.
As I told my back-then bosses about it, they responded they don’t discriminate between male and female employees, as proven by the fact that – once I asked – they gave me the salary raise. This reaction touches on another important and often misunderstood point behind the gender pay gap: it is not there because companies explicitly have divergent salary grades and criteria for men and women. It is not – apart from rare cases – an explicit process of discrimination. Quite the contrary. It is in the process of evaluating performance, negotiating salaries, and agreeing on titles, that the gap is slowly but surely created. With men being proactive, self-secure, assertive, demanding, and women not daring as much. And with HR departments and managers adopting different expectations and unconscious biases when evaluating women and men. It is this difference in attitude, repeated and cumulated over the years and not spotted nor corrected through bias- and transparency policies at the HR level, that generates the gender pay gap.
So, what can be done to fix this?
See it
If you are reading this and you are a man, you are likely paid 22% more than your female colleague –same job, same responsibilities, same performance. If you are a woman, you are likely paid 22% less.
The first step, and maybe the most difficult one to take, is to test if this data applies to you. If you are a woman, assume as a starting point that you are being paid less – because that’s what the data says. Inform yourself about the salary scale, how it is calculated, where you stand, why you were positioned on that grade/seniority and what are the criteria and steps for your progression. And, if there is any discrepancy, voice it out loud.
On top of discussing with the HR department, if useful, speak to colleagues with whom you have a closer relationship within your company, or to similar profiles from other companies. Not only to informally spot any discrepancy and double-check that your income is in the right bull-park for your position, seniority level and industry standards but also to gain a better understanding of how they go about promotions and salary negotiations. You might discover that there is more margin for negotiations than you had thought, and you can learn from them and apply it to your career progression.
And remember, it’s always worth checking if there is a gender pay gap. Best case scenario: there is no pay gap, and you will be even happier with your salary and your employer – so there is nothing to lose to just check. Worst case scenario: there is a pay gap – which the company might or might not be aware of. And this puts you in a position to do something about it.
Fix it for you
Once you have seen it, you can no longer unsee it. That’s how it has been for me, and ever since I have been more attentive to HR negotiations, processes and salary grids, I have become a better negotiator when it comes to my contracts, and I take on the responsibility – wherever possible – to check there is no pay gap within the teams or organizations I manage.
Knowing though that the pay gap is there for a reason, i.e. a difference in approach in how men and women negotiate and are perceived during negotiations, it’s useful to adopt specific strategies and tricks – as a woman – to compensate for this difference. On top of “seeing it”, by doing your research and gathering evidence you can report to your employer, you can work ahead of time on strategies to adopt during the next salary discussion or performance review.
Here are three practices that have helped me fix this underlying difference in attitude:
- Know your worth: this can be done by reflecting on your skills and on the contribution you made to the organization, in order to be able to articulate specific achievements and responsibilities that demonstrate your unique value. Plan what you want to say during this negotiation, with clear arguments and data that can support your requests and your worth.
- Think you are negotiating on behalf of others: research shows women are very effective negotiators when they negotiate on behalf of others (ex. a colleague, a company, a friend), less so when they negotiate on behalf of themselves (ex. their salary, their promotion). Trick yourself into becoming a more efficient negotiator also when negotiating for yourself, by thinking you are negotiating on behalf of others. I often tell myself, before entering a negotiation, “if I get this salary increase or this role it will be a step forward for all women” – and it works.
- Salary is not the only thing: while you might be negotiating for a salary increase, remember that your package is larger than your salary. Working from home, vacation days, additional training or exposure, and a promotion timeline, can all be components of the negotiation. If there is a sticking point on the salary, think ahead of time about what else you want to bring into the negotiation – creating value for your work-life balance and improving your overall package.
Fix it for others
Last but not least, if it happened to you it is happening to others – and they might not even know that’s the case. This is why there is a need to work on the systemic level, beyond fixing individual cases, for real and consistent change to happen.
As a manager, you have the power to adopt and implement policies addressing the pay-gap. As an employee, you have the power to ask HR for more transparency and accountability. Either way, you can drive change.
Where to start? Ask for data, and make sure progress is monitored over time. When in doubt, encourage your company to undertake pay audits and implement transparent and accessible salary ranges. Standardize salary negotiations and performance review processes with guidelines, to ensure consistency for men and women and minimize biases. Commit to or solicit an inclusive work culture, which values and promotes diversity through concrete targets and actions.
Workplace inequalities are a common currency, but they won’t get fixed by themselves. It takes leaders who prioritise fixing them, and it takes employers becoming aware of such inequalities and having the courage to report them – putting pressure on and expecting their employer to do better. Each of us can play our part to accelerate this much-needed change and make our companies and organizations fair for all.
Written by Gaia van der Esch.
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