How to learn to say no to protect your energy

I am so lucky that my days are spent with super successful women. I get to hear their thoughts, their dreams, and of course, their fears. I was asked recently, “what do you think sets the successful women apart?”, and I said, “learning how to say no and sticking to it”. It takes a lot of practice, but learning how to say no is vital for protecting your energy, scaling your business and everyone around you.

Set Boundaries

Setting your boundaries early on in the piece is so vital for your business. I think one of the biggest limitations when it comes to setting boundaries is fear. So many of us think, “well if I say no to this opportunity then people will think I am too good for them”, or, “if I take my foot off the gas for just one minute then everything is going to fall down around me”. The truth is, it’s not going to fall down. In fact, it’s going to speed up and get bigger. Protecting your energy and time is the single most important thing you can do as a business owner, and saying no to some things, or pushing back on people contacting you out of hours, or asking to “chew your ear quickly” without paying for your time, is OK. In fact, it’s better than ok. Because you are allowing yourself to preserve your energy to dream bigger and go bigger. I promise you, your future self will thank you.

If you don’t like doing something, don’t do it!

If something in your life is causing you more stress than joy. Get rid of it! I don’t like cooking or cleaning, I never have, and I know that my time can be spent doing better more impactful things. So, I simply got rid of it out of my life. I outsource my laundry, and I have a wonderful husband who does the cooking. One of the most common things I get asked, is if I feel guilty for doing that. The simplest answer is absolutely not. Being open to receiving help is so important. If you don’t like doing the cleaning or cooking in your household, then don’t! Drop the martyr of parenthood and don’t be a hero. Joy is more important than stressing yourself out, and if you want to do amazing things in the world, then there is only a certain amount of time and energy that you have and you are going to have to choose really consciously what you are going to give that to. And look, if you love cooking, then stick with it!

When you need to level up

I’ve spent a lot of time recently, thinking about what I have done so far In my business, is not going to get me to the next level that I want to be at. What I mean is, I have said yes to certain opportunities in the past that has certainly gotten me to where I am today. But now, in order for me to get to the next level and scale my business to where I want it to be, I need to start saying no to what I previously said yes to. This can feel tricky and awkward sometimes, especially if you have developed relationships with people over time, or even if it’s turning off one of your services, i.e. Private Clients / Coaching. But in doing so, you are freeing up your time and energy to focus on what you need to do and start saying yes to, in order to get to the next level.

Switch off!

One of the best, most practical things that I have ever done was purchase a second phone. This second phone now has a different number that only 20 or so people have, and I can use it on the weekends without getting bombarded with work calls or work notifications from social media. I still want to be contactable to my friends and family, but what I found was that I was switching off on the weekend and then missing out on what was going on in their lives. Hence, the two phones. It allows me to rest and rejuvenate so that then when the new week comes around, I’m firing and ready to show up and serve.

Written by Tina Tower.

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