Dreams are the vocal cords of your soul

Injections, pills, or dreams- what healed me better?

Gasping for breath, unable to fall asleep, I closed my eyes and someone whispered into my ears, ‘You will be alright, nothing will happen to you’.

This was in July 2019, when I was suffering from Dengue followed by a serious case of typhoid. Lying on the hospital bed, I would cry for hours and think why is none by my side when I need my people the most. Every time the nurse would come, take my temperature, and would ask for my family, something broke inside me. I wanted someone to hold my hand and say- you’ll be okay, I am by your side. Losing physical strength was nothing when compared to the emotional wellbeing which my heart and soul needed at that time.

The day I got admitted to the hospital, my grandmother left for heavenly abode and everyone was busy with her cremation ceremony in the village, and I was lying on the automated bed that held my extremely feeble body.

With frequent diarrhoea, fever, and chills, I was left with zero physical strength. My first night in the hospital was sleepless, dark, and left me surrounded by a million thoughts ranging from attachments, health, my dog at home, work, etc. But somewhere I knew, it’s not a ghastly situation, until the following afternoon when I went completely wet in sweat and shivered badly to extent that two compounders held me, nurses and doctors were rushing for some medicines and injections. I could fear death at that moment, and the only thing I could feel was needles piercing my veins and pains getting alleviated. Soon sedated with medical drugs, I could hear people talking that I have a high fever, tests need to be done, and hospitalisation is to be prolonged.

Soon after dinner, when lights were off I was again surrounded by thoughts. I had high fever, immensely weak body, and tears rolling down my eyes because I wanted to sleep but my pains couldn’t let me.

And, then a voice came-

‘You will be alright, nothing will happen to you’.

I replied back, ‘Do you see I am on a hospital bed, struggling every day for life?’

‘Don’t worry, it shall pass too. Tell me what’re you worried about’

‘I see nothing but painful days ahead, nobody to talk to, and most importantly I feel disgusted about my situation’

‘Look at me, we all have bad days, the only thing that makes them better is our internal strength and will power’- She said holding my hands, and continued.

‘Think about those happy days you spend at home, playing with your dog, eating your favorite chocolate ice-cream, and sometimes just looking at the pouring rain’

I could imagine everything she said and smiled after two horrific days.

She then continued- ‘Take your medicines on time, don’t feel alone; I will come again’

And, I slept peacefully that night. Though the coming days weren’t easy on health, all I waited for nights, when she’d come into my dreams and talk to me, the way my best friend would do, the way my girl would do, and sometimes scold as my mother would.

Few nights I would randomly wake-up feeling sick and lonely and would close my eyes to look for her but she was around to caress me with her words. Our conversations went around multiple things from life to death, love to hatred, childhood to adultery, work to leisure, and every possible thing happening under the sun. She was a lullaby for my soul, the way she comforted me would give me the strength to fight the ailment and wake-up stronger the next day. I was in the hospital for 8 days, and as soon as I was home, along with my illness; my dreams vanished too. Dreams that strengthened me during tough times, dreams that empowered by the body to heal faster, and dreams that connected me to my inner-self.

This made me believe in dreams and souls because whenever our soul wants to talk to us, we dream. We dream about happy moments, we dream about tragic events, or we get signals, but very rare is the phenomena when we get power through dreams.

written by Aastha Maheshwari.