Leading Through Life’s Toughest Curveballs: How to Support Employees Facing Cancer

As a leader, it’s inevitable that you or someone you manage will face an awkward yet vital conversation about cancer. The fastest-growing population of cancer patients comprises people under 50—those in the prime of building their careers and families, often stretched thin. With one in two Americans diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime, an estimated 0.6% of the population is battling it at any given moment. It’s highly likely that someone in your company will face cancer or that someone they care about will.

After 25 years as a Chief Marketing Officer  and Chief Revenue Officer, I started working as an Executive Coach. When I was diagnosed with cancer, even though my prognosis was excellent, I was deeply nervous about how to navigate the conversation with my clients. Questions swirled: Would they see me as less capable? Would I lose contracts? Would treatment sap my ability to deliver?

Work became my anchor—a source of normalcy in the surreal journey through “cancer land.” Yet, the fear of being sidelined or overlooked was palpable. These experiences gave me valuable insights that lead to me writing Crushing the Cancer Curveball. It also provided me with first-hand advice about how leaders can better support employees facing cancer or helping a loved one through it.

The First Conversation: What to Say and Do 

When someone on your team shares their cancer diagnosis, your first reaction matters. You’ll likely feel shock and discomfort—this is normal. Start by taking two deep breaths and focusing on the person in front of you. Resist the urge to immediately offer solutions or platitudes.

Many people with cancer are frustrated by pity. Personally, I found it so uncomfortable that I began proactively framing my diagnosis to avoid it. I told people I wasn’t traumatized and that I had decades of experience with cancer treatment. It was true, but it was also a shield.

The key is to mirror the emotions and tone your employee is expressing. If they seem calm, stay calm. If they express frustration, acknowledge it. Follow their lead.

Dos and Don’ts for Supporting Employees with Cancer Do: 

1. Express empathy: “I’m so sorry this is happening to you.”
2. Mirror their emotions: Respond based on their tone and demeanor, not your assumptions.
3. Ask what they need: “Is there anything I can do to support you?”
4. Offer flexible arrangements: Be creative with scheduling or remote work options to accommodate treatments.
5. Reassure them of their value: Assure them the team will support as much or as little work as they want and can handle.
6. Protect their privacy: Discuss their diagnosis only with people they explicitly want informed.
7. Maintain opportunities: Check in on what they can handle and include them in projects or promotions when appropriate.

Don’t: 

1. Offer false reassurances: Avoid phrases like “You’ll beat this” or “It’ll be fine.” You can’t know that, and it often feels dismissive.
2. Encourage “positivity”: It’s not their job to manage your emotions or perform strength for others.
3. Broadcast their diagnosis: Keep it need-to-know unless they say otherwise.
4. Make it about work: They already feel the burden of how their absence might impact the team.
5. Sideline them: Cancer is a temporary health issue; their ambition and talent are still intact.

When It’s About a Loved One 

Supporting an employee whose loved one has been diagnosed with cancer requires similar care. I experienced this firsthand when my sister was diagnosed 10 days before my second son was born, two months into a demanding new executive role. My CEO, Glenn, handled it perfectly. When I shared the news, he expressed genuine empathy and asked what I needed. Over time, he checked in periodically and adapted to my needs, never assuming or prying. His flexibility allowed me to focus on my sister without sacrificing my career ambitions—a leadership masterclass in compassion.

Final Thoughts 

Cancer is a reality many will face, directly or indirectly. As a leader, your response can have a profound impact on your employees’ experience and their ability to navigate a difficult time. Compassion, flexibility, and clear communication are your greatest tools. With them, you can create a workplace culture where employees feel supported, not sidelined, during one of the hardest journeys of their lives.

Written by Joelle Kaufman.
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