Today, I need you to embrace what is difficult for the average person but practiced by some of the most successful leaders in the world. In your career life, what is it that you want to achieve? What is that one thing you want bad enough in your career? Ask yourself this question: What do I want?
When you write it down, it will create an image in your mind which will keep on growing.
And if you know what that is for you, you must believe in it. You’ve got to be relentless. You are not moved by how hard it is or how impossible it looks, and you are not discouraged by how long it is taking you. You won’t give up because people say so. You’re not going to settle for mediocrity. You’re not going to take NO for an answer.
Remember this: the body has limitations. The mind does not. We focus so much on what the body can accomplish that we forget what our minds can make us achieve.
If you’re not mentally ready, you’re never really physically prepared for the job, for that promotion, for that next big project. And so, I ask you again—where do you see yourself in your career life? Now listen here. I am not asking you if you can get there or not. I am not asking you to do a current reality analysis of your life and situations. I am asking you to see yourself where you want to be in your career.
Once you do that, you’ve got to take full responsibility for your growth. The responsibility for your success is not on someone else—not on your boss, not on your spouse, not on your friends, and not on society. It’s on no one except yourself.
I coach people from the corporate world daily, and I see that most don’t take responsibility for their growth. They prefer to play the blame game. It makes them comfortable and makes them feel safe.
These are the people who focus on the outside. For them, everything that goes wrong and even things that go right in their lives are because of someone or something out there.
And so they feel powerless.
But let me tell you this: Responsibility is not avoided for those who focus on the inside. In my twenty-two decades of coaching, I have seen that most people aren’t as successful as they wish they were.
Successful people focus on themselves and continuously question themselves:
“What can I do better? How can I improve my game?”
What is the one thing I know I am doing wrong? That I could fix –
What would life look like if I was caring for myself properly?
What career would challenge me and render me productive and helpful?
What should I do when I have some freedom/time?
What are some of the things I am doing to improve my health, to expand my knowledge.
You have to focus on yourself, get to know yourself, and keep developing your strength. What’s stopping you from moving ahead? Has some sort of one-eyed monster gotten you in its grip?
When focusing on yourself, you have to know who you are.
You need to know where you are going so that you can limit the extent of chaos in your life and bring all your energy to do what you want to do. Start with yourself, take care of yourself, define who you are, and refine your responsibility. The best leaders have a high degree of self-awareness. These leaders understand themselves and their needs, strengths, weaknesses, and temperament. They are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and personal motivators.
As the great 19th-century German philosopher Fredrich so brilliantly noted- ‘he whose life has a why can bear almost any how. I believe that Tthe art of leadership is like wresting: You have to be ready to face new challenges each day and overcome them with wisdom and calmness.
Success in your career life is all about you v./s you. Inside each of us is a big YOU and a small YOU. The big YOU is confident and wants to play big. And so, this big YOU v/s the small YOU is a contact battle and the only area you have full control over.
I once coached a mid-manager who was struggling in his career. He was constantly comparing himself with his colleagues, constantly worrying about what his boos thought of him, always fretting about the economy and about the loss. And guess what? He was miserable and was stuck in his career. He was not able to structure his thoughts.
One day during our 1:1 coaching session, I asked him a simple question– what would happen if you stopped worrying about things and people and instead started to focus on improving your game? I must say- the look on his face was priceless. In the next few months, he began writing down all things he could do to focus on himself. And to improve himself. For the first time, he realized he’d been fighting the wrong battle. His battle was not him v/s the outside world. The struggle he had to focus on was him v/s him.
My dad always told me that if you’re too preoccupied with getting what you want, you’ll never get it. It’s counterintuitive, but you have to go after what you want indirectly. The outcomes you get must be the byproduct of your type of person.
Don’t spend your time chasing butterflies; they’ll fly away. But if you spend time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you.
When you focus on yourself and improve yourself, everything you want will come to you. Remember, you get in life who you are, not what you want.
Learning how to focus on yourself is all about becoming the type of person capable of achieving an outcome without needing the outcome to happen in a certain way or at a particular time.
Anyone can be their best self, but it requires work.
Focus on yourself and everything you want will fall into place.
Written by Payal Nanjiani.
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