What kind of negotiator are you?

How well do you know your negotiation style? Negotiation is as much about knowing yourself as it is about understanding others. Understanding what kind of negotiator you are and the negotiation style of others you’ll be negotiating with, both in your business and personal life, will put you in a strong position to succeed.

Let me introduce you to various negotiator archetypes: The General, The Diplomat, The Dealer, The Accommodator, and The Avoider. These archetypes are adapted from the work of Kenneth Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann, who developed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) in the 1970s. This model was introduced to help individuals and groups understand and assess their behaviour in conflict situations and measure how assertive vs cooperative they are in reaching resolution.

In the negotiation context, we’ll look at this through the lens of valuing outcomes vs relationships. The aim here isn’t just to label your negotiation style, but to help you grasp the practical implications of your inherent approach. It’s about understanding the strengths and potential pitfalls of your style. Knowing your style is important, but learning how to adapt to or complement the styles of others is just as crucial.

Are you someone who prioritises relationships or outcomes? When you consider your negotiator type, I want you to think about your default approach and please be honest with yourself — you won’t get what you need from this if you hide behind the lens of the profile type you wish you had. In your negotiations, where you place the importance of relationships and outcomes, on a scale from low to high, will determine your negotiator type.

• The General:Winning is what matters most, getting their desired outcome even if it means the relationship isn’t a priority. This style works best for situations where the result holds significant importance.
• The Diplomat: Someone with this style of negotiating aims to win together. Getting the best outcome possible for all without hurting the relationship. They look for solutions that achieve the desired results and keep relationships strong. This is a great approach when both the stakes and the relationships are highly valued.
• The Dealer: They focus on keeping things balanced in their pursuit of win-win, comfortable with compromise they aim for agreements that are an acceptable middle ground for both the results and the relationship. This style is chosen when both aspects are somewhat important, but not critical.
• The Accommodator: Keeping a good relationship is more important than getting the best outcome. This yielding style is chosen when the relationship is more valuable than the specific issue at hand.
• The Avoider: The Avoider doesn’t place much importance on either the outcome or the relationship. This style is used when the negotiation or conflict isn’t considered worth the effort or if they are consciously seeking to delay conversations.

Think about who else comes to mind as you read the different types? Can you recognise the different negotiator types you experience at work and at home?

Written by Glin Bayley.
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