Leading with a Quiet Mind: Insights from Bestselling Author Ethan Kross

In today’s high-pressure business environment, leaders often grapple with incessant inner dialogues that can impede decision-making, reduce focus, undermine confidence, and ultimately hinder their ability to lead effectively. With rapid advancements in technology and artificial intelligence, the volume of our self-talk can feel overwhelming. To find an empowering and evidence-based path forward, I spoke with Ethan Kross, an award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top-tier psychology department and the director of the Emotion & Self-Control Laboratory, about his latest book, Chatter.

Chatter can manifest in various ways, including rumination on past events or excessive worry about the future. This not only detracts from our ability to be present in the moment. It also impedes our ability to think strategically and make sound decisions. It’s crucial for leaders to recognize that while chatter is a common human struggle, there are practical strategies to manage it effectively.

Here, I explore the key takeaways from our Do Good to Lead Well podcast episode that are particularly relevant for executives seeking to enhance their mental clarity and leadership effectiveness.

1. Create a “Board of Chatter Advisors
   An intriguing idea that came from our discussion was curating a trusted “board of chatter advisors,” which is a support network comprised of individuals skilled in both listening and advising. Just like a Board of Directors, when we are stuck, we selectively reach out to a Board member to talk through our chatter and obtain their perspective. This is a powerful and effective way to learn about our self-talk and find solutions for the present and future.
2. Harnessing our Emotions as Functional Aids in Leadership
   Understanding the functional aspects of emotions is crucial for effective leadership. While swimming in a sea of negative emotions will compromise our capabilities, when experienced in healthy doses emotions like anxiety and anger can serve as motivational and corrective tools.The same holds true of positive emotions. While focusing on positive states is beneficial (and considerable research supports this idea), a risk lies in falling into the trap of chronic positivity, which can undermine genuine problem-solving and emotional resilience.

   Leaders should aim to strike a balance by being strategically tough on themselves while exercising self-compassion and understanding. This complex and advanced skill takes time and awareness to develop.

3. Navigating the Nuances of Providing Social Support and Emotional Expression
   Above and beyond managing their own chatter, leaders are also exposed to the chatter of their team members. In these situations, it is imperative for leaders to create a balance between providing space for their employees to express their emotions while also engaging in solution-focused problem-solving.Initially, sharing emotions (especially negative ones like frustration or anxiety) allows for connection and understanding, providing a foundation upon which to build effective support structures. As the conversations evolve, leaders often should transition toward offering perspectives and advice that can guide their employees out of negative thought spirals.

   The finesse in this process lies in knowing when to transition from empathetic listening to offering advice. This is far easier said than done. One technique to offset the possible risks is for the leader to seek consent before dispensing advice. Asking permission respects the other person’s autonomy while assessing their readiness or interest to receive help. This approach fosters deeper connections and enhances leadership effectiveness.

Conclusion

The strategies discussed here are more than mere theoretical concepts; they are evidence-based insights that can profoundly change the way that leaders approach their own chatter and the internal dialogues of their teams. By adopting the above approaches, leaders can transform their inner turmoil into emotional strength, leading with greater clarity and confidence. The result is not just an improvement in personal well-being but also the cultivation of a leadership style that is both effective and sustainable in the face of the challenges and opportunities presented by the modern business landscape.

Check out the full podcast episode here.

Written by Craig Dowden, Ph.D.
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