Don’t let fear hold you back. 3 tips to hold yourself accountable to being inclusive at work.

In the DEI space, there is plenty of fear: fear of being discriminated against, of getting things wrong, of saying the wrong things, or of feeling uncomfortable. There is the fear of being misunderstood or misrepresented, of being the lone voice, of being the token hire, or even the fear of not doing anything.

These fears prevent us from acting and keep us as bystanders, limiting progress towards nurturing inclusive workplaces. So how can we overcome our fears and hold ourselves accountable to being inclusive at work?

Tip 1: Know your fears

The first step to overcoming this fear is to identify if fear in fact exists and what form the fear takes. This can be uncomfortable. As human beings, we often find it hard to acknowledge that we are indeed fearful. We may think that it makes us appear weak and inadequate. For us to address our fears, we have to sit with this discomfort and embrace the vulnerability required of us.

So let us begin with an honest reflection. Do you feel fearful of being inclusive at work?

• No: I am not fearful of being inclusive.
• Yes, but slightly: I am slightly fearful of being inclusive and also excited about the positive impact of being inclusive.
• Yes: I am quite fearful of being inclusive. It makes me uncomfortable.
• Maybe: I am not sure if I am fearful or not. I need more time to reflect on this.

If you selected yes or maybe, take a look at the list below and select the sources of fear for yourself.

• Fear of not knowing the right words and phrases.
• Fear of not knowing enough about the DEI topic.
• Fear of the discomfort of addressing your own bias.
• Fear of the discomfort of needing to discuss difficult topics about DEI and bias with others.
• Fear of addressing the bias that you witness or experience, and the conflict situations that may arise from doing so.
• Fear of being perceived as the token hire.
• Fear of the impact of addressing bias on how others perceive you and the impact on your career.
• Fear of failure or saying/doing the wrong thing.
• Fear of change and needing to do things differently.
• Fear of giving up your position, power and space that you occupy.
• Fear of being cancelled.
• Fear of the impact of being seen as the “DEI or woke police”.

Are there any other fears that are not covered above?

Tip 2: Confront your fears through small but impactful efforts

Many of our fears come from not knowing enough about DEI topics or the right phrases and words to use. We may also be avoiding situations of conflict. Start small and build confidence. We often think that we have to engage in grand gestures or heated conversations to nurture inclusion. We don’t. Within our own spheres of influence, we can engage in small and impactful efforts to confront our fears.

To confront your fear(s):

• Reflect on your why: Why are you keen to nurture inclusion? Knowing why DEI is important to us and our company is a good reminder in those moments when we experience fear.
• Be curious: Read an article every week on DEI from different angles. Listen to a podcast with a guest who is likely to have a different life journey or perspective than your own. Keep an open mind. In doing so, we become more aware of the issues at play within DEI and feel more comfortable engaging on the topic.
• Ask questions: When in doubt about whether bias is present in a conversation, meeting or decision being made, ask questions from a place of empathy to minimise encounters of conflict. Asking empathetic questions like “Can you tell me more about what your meant by…?” or “Could you walk me through how you arrived at that decision?”. In doing so, we create conversations that ease our own fears and the fears of others.

Tip 3: Overcome your fears through frequent and consistent behaviours. 

This is key. It is not sufficient for us to just show up every year for the Pride parade or International Women’s Day event at work. What matters more is what we do in between these annual events. It is the frequent and consistent behaviours that help us to overcome our fear of DEI.

What are some of the frequent and consistent behaviours we can engage in?

• Disrupt interruptions and redirect stolen credit: In meeting or group settings, notice when people are being interrupted, talked over, and when others take someone’s idea. Make an effort to disrupt those moments creating space for the person who was interrupted to continue their contribution to the conversation or for the person who originally contributed the idea to be acknowledge for doing so.
• Check your biases. Identify a few key people whom you can go to in order to check your biases. They need to be people you are comfortable getting vulnerable with, and who are willing to engage with you in a constructive way.
• Challenge the cookie cutters: Our organisations are plagued with the cookie cutter syndrome; moulds of who we consider to be an ideal leader or an ideal employee. In hiring, promotion and talent development conversations, be sure to challenge the status quo and question the resistance to melt the cookie cutters.

What do you stand to gain? Think of something that you were fearful of. Perhaps it was doing a presentation in front of your colleagues or managers. Perhaps it was taking on a new job in a new company. How did it make you feel once you had confronted and overcome that fear? That’s what we stand to gain. A feeling of fulfilment that we are contributing towards nurturing inclusion in our workplaces.

Written by Dr. Poornima Luthra.

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