In most people’s experience, things often do not work out the way they had planned.
One wonders why that is so.
Does it point to inadequate planning, insufficient resources, poor execution, sketchy knowledge? Not always.
I think this is an ubiquitous reality. It certainly is in my experience.
What does it do to me when things don’t work out?
My mood
When things don’t go my way, without noticing it, it affects my mood.
I start looking at the world in a negative, depressed way. Considerable thought went into that venture, and it seems that all of it comes to nothing. Seems like a “waste of time”.
I start wondering if I am to blame. Have I said, or done, something stupid? I begin to doubt myself.
Relationships
When nothing comes to mind that I might have done, of have not done, I start analyzing others. Did they not understand what I was trying to do? Perhaps I should have taken more care to explain my ideas clearly.
I may even become angry. I may start to see others as being unreasonable, narrow-minded, stubborn or even stupid. That will certainly affect my relationship with them.
I realize that I need to refrain from giving vent to my frustrations. In any case, others can see that I am not happy.
I start seeing serious danger signals.
What next?
So, things have ground to a halt. I, and those around me, are at a loss. Discussions and planning have stalled. We are in limbo.
Time out
Is it time to park my feelings of disappointment and frustration?
Could it be advisable to get perspective, to try and see the bigger picture?
I decide to put that particular project off my agenda, and focus on something entirely different. In essence, I take an extended, indefinite holiday from that “failed” project and devote my energies to something totally new.
This gives my subconscious a chance to do its thing.
Restoration
My feelings of frustration start to dissipate. I experience composure again. I start feeling invigorated. Productivity returns. My mood becomes positive.
I give myself time to relax. Even make some lifestyle changes, such as adopt a healthy exercise routine, pay more attention to what I eat.
A new perspective
After diverting my attention away from disappointment and anger generated by the stalled project in which I had invested so much energy, I start to get a new perspective.
I realize that it may not be necessary to totally abandon what had come to be seen as a lost cause.
Maybe a new approach might make the venture successful, second time round.
The experiences of many “failed” projects that I banked in my memory have led me to new insights which I would like to share. You, the reader, might identify with some of these, and I would happily engage with you if you think further conversation might be beneficial.
Insights from uncompleted projects
- Disagreement is not necessarily an indication of “someone is wrong”.
Many projects fail because there is disagreement among the main drivers of a project on “major issues”. Some people walk away because they lose faith on account of the obstacles being perceived too great.Obstacles arise due to unforeseen hurdles. Could they be “learning opportunities” rather than “deal breakers”?It may be necessary to pause, investigate, call in appropriate expertise, and devote effort to thoroughly understand the obstacle. If this is done meticulously, the obstacle may become a game changer, because it has led to greater understanding.
- Dividends of “patient persistence”
Some big projects are abandoned before their anticipated benefit is realized. This may be because too much money and effort have already been spent without achieving the envisaged goal. “It’s just not worth carrying on” is the final verdict.People engaged in it are drained, worn out. Their energy and enthusiasm run on “empty”. The bus grinds to a halt.It is precisely that point which, if handled with patient persistence, can bring the desired breakthrough, and propel the participants to new heights. As the leader, is it necessary to recognize this danger point and do something exceptional to get your team out of it?
- People are our most valuable assets
- Many projects fail because people cannot get on with each other. We do not need to look for differences – they will always be there.
The important thing is: How do we handle them?
When we lead a project, it is as important to manage the relationships, as it is to manage resources. Seeing divergence of opinions as a potential asset goes a long way towards paving the path to success. That approach guides us in our communication and encourages the team to engage in rich discourse. It invites them to become participants, rather than employees who do what they are told.
This of course, is a huge topic. Books have been, and can still be written on it. My purpose in writing this short article on “When things don’t work out” is to sensitize us, again, to the complexities of human collective endeavor, and what role we, as leaders, can play to make it a positive experience.
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