To Integrate Self and Purpose, Leaders Must Do Inner Work 

Leadership ebbs and flows from seasons of hostile terrain to seasons of flourishing. But the ebb of hostile terrain is prolonged when leaders don’t commit to the inner business of self-awareness and consistent recalibration. Some leaders cling to identities built for survival in previous rough times that no longer serve them.

A powerful anecdote that illustrates this inflexibility comes from one of the many tragedies that occurred when Hurricane Helene devastated my community in east Tennessee in 2024. Entire neighborhoods vanished beneath muddy waters. But one incident especially has stayed with me.Two neighbors were standing outside their homes as the water level grew higher, rushing across their yards and up the porch steps. A rescue boat pulled up, urging both to climb aboard. One man accepted. The other refused.

“I can’t leave my house,” he insisted. “I’ve gotta stay here with it.” The boat pushed away. When they looked back, the house and the man were gone.

Leaders, too, anchor themselves to inflexible identities built for survival in a previous storm. They cling to roles, personas, or beliefs that once offered protection or significance but no longerserve their current reality. From the outside, it may not look catastrophic. But the inner erosion is real. Clinging to what no longer fits leads to misalignment, stagnation, and, in time, burnout, or disintegration.

It doesn’t feel like life or death in the moment, but I’ve watched leaders lose everything because they didn’t do the inner work.

Some indicators that your leadership identity may be fragmenting or storm-brewing on the unhealthy side include:

• Consistent feelings of being fake and inauthentic
• A sense of depersonalization and disconnection from relationships
• Feeling powerless to control the roles you’re living and leading
• A sense of performing rather than showing up as yourself
• Others noticing how differently you show up depending on the circum- stances or who’s in the room

If a leader isn’t connected to purpose or people, they lead from a trapped, rigid, overwhelmed, and isolated place. Sustainable leadership comes from identity clarity — the alignment between who you are, how you lead, and what you stand for. From this foundation, effective, fulfilling performance follows.

Clarify and reframe your leader identity 

The following are examples of behaviors that represent engrained behaviors that don’t serve leaders well. For each, I’ve included a suggestion to reframe the unhealthy reflex and integrate better awareness and acceptance.

1. Saying “yes” by default. Leaders who are high performing often fall into this trap. But it’s easy to lose the connection to purpose when taking on too much. Practice the strategic use of saying “no.”
2. Staying in reaction mode. Feelings are where interpretation happens, and that’s where leadership begins. Allowing a moment of awareness shifts a potentially reactive spiral into a constructive response. Create a margin for reflection and emotional awareness. An attuned leader recognizes the emotion, names the feeling, and directs the response accordingly.
3. Holding on to a leader image at all costs. This pattern is due one of two reasons, arrogance or fear. The leader who is clinging to control and certainty is bypassing the human and authentic expression of vulnerability. Invite diverse perspectives, feedback, and co-creation.
4. Micromanagement tendencies. If a leader’s drive is for security, then they tend to micromanage and hoard information. As a result, subordinates feel stifled. Empower others and delegate with trust.
5. Avoiding conflict. Avoiding hard conversations impacts relationships. It’s a way to avoid discomfort and hide behind the false premise that everything is fine. Such passivity hinders how you function as a leader. Instead, address a situation in real time.
6. Identifying with your role, not your purpose. Attitudes rooted in dependence on what others think mean that leaders have lost connection to their own purpose and preferences. Leaders who act in this way may be unaware that their leader persona is performative. Explore the core values that you consider non-negotiable. Find areas of your work where you can express those values to enhance your leader influence and fulfillment. Consistently integrating your values into decision-making and leader performance is foundational to authentic leadership.
7. Dismissing the body’s signals. Physical sensations are part of intelligent leading. Over-thinking allows rationality to sneak in and “edit” your emotional response. Listen to your gut’s signals. They influence emotional regulation, decision-making, and even perception of risk. Honor any physical and gut-informed cues.

Your internal leadership convictions often get stunted by pressures to stick with the familiar or play it safe. This is a fast track to stagnancy, lack of influence, and frustration. Building awareness allows you to excavate reflexive habits that no longer serve you and shift your inner leader terrain from unfertile to flourishing.

Written by Natalie Pickering, PhD.