What the COVID-era can teach leaders about the power of empathy

Do you ever catch yourself thinking, “What is wrong with these people!?” The year 2020 was strange for most. Gripped by the Covid-19 pandemic, fear and uncertainty were spreading rapidly. People were responding in all kinds of ways – healthcare workers were under immense pressure, families were separated and conspiracy theories thrived.

There was one behaviour that stood out to me as particularly ludicrous: toilet paper hoarding. News reports showed shopping trolleys overflowing, people diving for the last pack and even physical fights erupting over two-ply rolls. I vividly remember a video of three women brawling over toilet paper, hair-pulling and all.

My first reaction was simple and harsh: This is stupid. I judged these people as silly and panicked. Maybe you thought the same? Maybe you were one of them? The truth is, my reaction lacked empathy.

Assumptions: Fast, flippant, and flawed 

As humans, we naturally fall back on assumptions to make sense of the world. Assumptions are fast and convenient, but rarely perfect. Judging others as “stupid” might feel satisfying in the moment, but it offers little useful if we want to influence change. If I said to a hoarder of toilet paper, “Hey, you. Stop being stupid.” I suspect it wouldn’t have helped.

As leaders, we need to be able to understand, motivate and influence behaviour. Most people grabbing extra rolls of toilet paper weren’t motivated by pure stupidity, there was something else at play. This is where empathy and perspective taking becomes more than a nice-to-have, soft skill and instead a critical capability needed in the toolkits of all modern leaders.

Exploring with Empathy 

Sadly, too many books and articles written on empathy tell us why it is important, but fail to help with the practical actions needed. So, let me share a simple framework I developed called the Perspective Taking Tool and show you how it works. On a piece of paper, write the behaviour or belief you’re trying to understand in a box in the middle – like “Toilet Paper Hoarding.” Then, to the left, write down as many rational reasons someone might have for this behaviour, such as:

• Toilet paper is a necessity.
• Supply was limited.
• Toilet paper isn’t reusable.
• They can’t make their own.

Whether or not you find these compelling doesn’t matter. The point is to get outside your own perspective and consider what someone else might see as reasonable.

Next, to the right of the box consider potential emotional drivers:

• Fear of missing out.
• Embarrassment of not having any.
• Greed – “I need it for me.”
•  Love – “I need to look after them”

Again, these may not resonate with you—but they may for someone else.

We can also examine maro-structural concerns and policy factors: global supply chain issues, supermarket restrictions, or local laws changing rapidly. These environmental elements often shape behaviour more than we realise.

There are also cultural drivers; it’s no surprise that some might act with a “me first” mentality in a competitive, individualistic society. Finally, don’t overlook social influences – friends, family or even media figures play a huge role in fuelling panic and urgency.

Changing our minds first to influence others 

Stepping back, it’s clear there are many possible reasons someone might hoard toilet paper. We might never know which ones were at play, but that’s not the point. The goal isn’t to land on the reason or even agree with the behaviour. I still think hoarding was misguided – but now I understand it in a broader context. Now I have more empathy for the people and the situation.

From a leadership perspective, that’s the power of empathy. It isn’t coddling or being nice. It is the capability to explore diverse human behaviours with curiosity rather than judgement. To break out of the echo chambers and uncover new ideas that bridge our evergrowing social divides. To create teams, organisations and communities with more trust, understanding and connection.

In a world where algorithms and AI are being deployed rapidly to automate decisions, reinforce biases and accelerate our judgemental nature, it will be the leaders who develop empathy as a strategic capability and embed this within their teams that will create the sustainable competitive advantage. Empathy is no longer a ‘nice to have’; in a tech-driven world, it may well become the most valuable human skill we have left.

Written by Daniel Murray.
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