Have you ever asked someone to do something — and they just… didn’t?

In my recent TEDx talk, I share insights from my leadership journey across multiple countries and cultures on how we can turn passive listeners into active contributors. 

Have you ever asked someone to do something — and they just… didn’t? 

At work:
“Let’s call every customer and ask about their experience.”
Silence. Maybe some nods. But no action.

At home:
“Can you take out the trash?”
Still there, hours later.

With family:
“Please stop comparing me to your friends’ kids.”
And yet — it keeps happening.

Why is there a gap between what we say and what gets done? That gap is what I call the Execution Gap. It’s the space between saying something and seeing it happen.

About ten years ago, I moved abroad for the first time. 
I was leading a team in a country where I didn’t speak the local language. Our only way of communication? Broken English. I couldn’t rely on perfect words or culture. I had to find a new way to communicate. It forced me to stop assuming that saying something well presented would get done. It didn’t. I had to sit down and create an effective way to connect so I looked to understand human needs.

One way to understand human behaviour is to look back to our ancestors. 

Picture a tribe. The leader says: “Let’s go hunt.”

No one asks:

• “Why?”
• “What’s in it for me?”
• “Can I do it later?”

They act. Instantly. Because the purpose is built in. If we don’t hunt, we don’t eat. Instinct leads to Action which leads to the Benefit Everyone understands. No confusion. No resistance.

But in modern times, our needs don’t come from our instincts as much anymore. 

As we’ve evolved, we’ve become more materialistic, more ambitious, detached from our natural triggers. We don’t hunt because we’re hungry. We chase followers, deadlines and feelings. We chase goals that are abstract, layered, hard to understand. We’re still wired the same way though — we need a reason to act — But instinct isn’t enough anymore.

So what fills the gap?

Purpose. And benefit.

So all I did was to write it down and follow the sequence. 

Here’s what I discovered, and what I’ve used ever since — from work to personal life:

Purpose → Act → Benefit 

Most of us communicate the Act. the what
“Do this.”
“Change that.”
“Stop doing that.”

Some of us even share the Purpose — they why
“This is why it matters.”
“This is what I’m trying to achieve.”

But very few of us explain the Benefit — the benefit
“What’s in it for you.”
“How this helps you, not just me.”

Let’s Break It Down 

Let’s go back to the workplace: “Let’s call every customer for feedback.”

What they hear: “So… extra work, no extra pay… great.”

Now add: “So we can build features people actually want — which makes your job easier, and helps us grow faster.”

Suddenly, it’s not your request — it’s their opportunity.

Example 2: With a Partner 

At home: “Can you take out the trash?”

What your partner hears: “Do something annoying, right now.”

But what if you said: “When you do that, I feel supported — and I can finally sit down.”

It’s no longer a task. It’s a way to connect.

But Is It Manipulation? 

Some people hear this and think: “So… you’re just trying to get what you want?”

No. This isn’t manipulation. This is understanding human nature. People don’t act because they’re lazy. They act when it matters to them. We have to stop just saying what we want — And start thinking about what they need. This isn’t selfish. It’s not transactional. It’s how we’re wired. Let’s normalize that.

Steve Jobs Did It Too 

When Steve Jobs was recruiting John Sculley from Pepsi, he didn’t say: “I need a CEO. The board wants it. Let’s talk about salary.”

He said: “Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life — or do you want to come with me and change the world?”

 I’ve lived and worked in four countries, across two continents — from the South to the North, from East to West.

Everywhere I went, one thing stayed the same: People don’t respond to pressure and are unknown. They respond to their needs and understanding. When I used the model — people acted. When I didn’t — I was ignored or misunderstood. So I kept practicing it — until it became a pattern. At work. In relationships. With friends. With family. Even with myself.

The good news is — you don’t need perfect words. You don’t need a shared language. 
You don’t need to be a TED speaker or a therapist. You just need a clear sequence:

Purpose → Act → Benefit  

Let’s stop asking, “Why don’t they listen?” And start asking, “Have I made the purpose clear, and shown them the benefit?” That’s how we close the Execution Gap. That’s how we move forward — together.

Thank you,

Dimos Karantzas.
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