How to get better at receiving as well as giving feedback

Quality feedback in the workplace matters. It really matters. A major Australian research study in 2021 found that except for ‘ongoing feedback’ no practice – traditional or new – was rated as being particularly effective in improving employee performance. Ongoing feedback means regular conversations between an employee and their manager involving a judicious mix of praise, coaching, evaluation and pointers for improvement. Despite the proven importance of feedback, not enough workplaces train their people in giving it, and fewer still are instructed in the art of receiving it well. Here are some tips on giving and receiving feedback in an optimal manner. When you are giving feedback:

1. Understand what it means – anything a manager says to an employee about their performance is some type of feedback and will be received as such. The words you use and how you say them, will themselves impact on the employee’s future motivation and performance. As well as giving thoughtful and constructive suggestions on how an employee can be more effective, you should also provide appreciation and praise where appropriate.
2. Provide it regularly – as the research shows, feedback should be ‘ongoing’, and not just once or twice a year. Gallup’s research shows that feedback should be a common occurrence, for most jobs, a few times per week. You can often provide feedback briefly and on the run. People remember their most recent experiences best, so feedback is most valuable when it occurs immediately after an action and not saved for a six-monthly formal review meeting.
3. Sometimes provide ‘advice’ instead – the word ‘feedback’ is, unfortunately, a loaded, backward-looking term. As a manager, it may occasionally be helpful for you to ask an employee if you could provide them with forward-looking ‘advice’ rather than ‘feedback’. Mix it up. There will be times when you need to and should provide feedback, but on other occasions advice may be more appropriate and better received by an employee.
4. Offer to help – focus on specific behaviours and not personal characteristics of an employee. Importantly, avoid dwelling on past mistakes. Rather, help an employee identify what needs to change to improve performance. This should be a two-way street. That is, as the manager, you should ask the employee what the organisation can do to help the employee to be more effective in the future.

When you are receiving feedback: 

1. Know yourself – by the time you enter the workplace you have been receiving feedback pretty much every day of your life from family, friends, teachers and others on all manner of issues. Ask yourself how you respond to such feedback? Are you open and curious about what others think? Or are you defensive and argumentative? Compared to your private life, feedback in the workplace is usually higher stakes. Try to avoid being defensive. Not only will this not be received well by the feedback giver, but you may get less feedback in the future.
2. Be reflective – when you receive suggestions on how you can improve your performance, avoid rushing to a conclusion that the feedback is wrong or misguided. Take some time to reflect on the messages you have received. Ideally, you will have one or more mentors with whom you can discuss the feedback. If, after reflection, you are still having trouble understanding the suggestions and where they are coming from, then ask your manager to give you some further explanation.
3. Unpack the person from the message – yes, easier said than done. Nonetheless, in the moment, try to focus on the message you are receiving and not on what it means for your relationship with the person providing the feedback. Listen carefully for the message and reflect later on the relationship implications.
4. Thank the giver – even if you don’t feel particularly grateful in the moment, try and receive any suboptimal feedback as graciously as possible and thank your manager or colleague for their comments. Let your manager know what you intend to do with the feedback you have received. At least do this when the feedback has been delivered in a reasonable and caring member. If you have received abusive or poorly delivered feedback by the manager from hell, you don’t need to express appreciation for the experience.

The huge advances in workplace technology, including the recent advent of artificial intelligence, have not changed the foundation of what makes for a great workplace. In order to thrive, employees want and need quality, ongoing feedback on their performance. Employers should ensure that managers and employees are trained to both give and receive feedback in the most constructive manner.

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Written by Tony Frost.
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