As a society, we now have the tools to understand what we can do to build a better world with more peaceful and productive relationships. According to scientists, our relationships with other people are the most crucial parameter in determining the level of happiness we will experience in our lives. Is this research valid? In any case, it is worth it to give it a shot and see what happens.
Today, we talk about the three rules that can help you restore any relationship and allow yourself to feel relieved.
- Don’t expect the other party to change, change yourself.
Every relationship consists of two parties or more. The people that interact in this relationship depend on each other. Regardless of how independent someone can be as a personality when interacting with others, they automatically find themselves involved in a bond that could eventually change them. Changes come from within, but they also appear when we encounter challenging situations. People who like to act do not expect others to do the first step or be the ones that will cause a change to happen. People who can be active expect from themselves more than what they expect from others. Because a relationship is a bond between people, remember that each change you will make will eventually change the other party. Sooner or later, the energy of your willingness will be ”heard” by the other individual and create some changes to their approach and behavior. So changing yourself here is not just about changing your world is about controlling or at least affecting the world of another person and the dynamic of the relationship.
- It is not about the facts; it is about their meaning.
Another parameter that plays an essential role in relationships is how we interpret the facts. The facts alone have no valuable information to give us. We have been provided with the gift of critical thinking, a skill that grows fast after the age of 15 years old and never stops evolving. People do not just notice, but they also judge. All information comes with a conclusion, and the conclusion is ours to figure out. It can be positive or negative depending on our mood and character. The crucial thing to keep in mind here is that we always have to choose the conclusion that will be beneficial for us. At the same time, we should never forget that the same rule applies to every other person that is involved in the relationship and if we want to change their point of view regarding the facts, we should show them the benefits that will appear in their lives if they follow our interpretation of the facts or at least another interpretation that will not be controversial to the one we have adopted already.
- We cannot solve any of the issues unless we first address the relationship.
Finally, let us not underestimate the dynamic of the relationship itself. Issues that may appear as problems in our lives and related to the bond we have with the other person will not be resolved unless we make peace with the other individual, no matter what that means. Being able to approach the other person openly and with the intention of resolving any differences will lead to further profits. A typical example comes from couples that complain about their sex life. Most people between 18 and 35 years old believe that a good sexual relationship can solve the problems they have with their partners in other aspects of their relationships.
In the same way, they easily blame ”bad sex” for their feelings of aggressiveness towards the other person. Psychologists have a different view to suggest. According to specialists, a good relationship between the couple will be depicted in good and exciting sex life. On the contrary, when the couple faces problems with each other, this is more likely to destroy their sex life. The vital point is that a relationship affects sex and not vice versa. So, this rule is common for all the aspects of any relationship actually. What appears as a problem will only be resolved when you restore your relationship with the other person.