Self-love is a word that people wouldn’t use in the last century and perhaps this happened because they didn’t need it so much. The world we live in today may provide lots of luxuries and it is an easy life in particular terms but it holds a variety of challenges that were unknown in the past. It is more than crucial to embrace ourselves and see how we can do that in 6 true, realistic, and yet simple ways.
- Love yourself the way you are and not the way you would like it to be
One of the basic principles of self-love has to do with accepting yourself just the way it is. We often say I would be better if it was this or that. It can be things about our external appearance, our social status, or the financial situation we want to reach. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious, however, there is indeed something wrong with not appreciating what you have.
Therapists struggle with getting individuals to love themselves. One of the things they often encourage them to do is to repeat the phrase ”I am enough.” The choice of the word ”enough” is not accidental. It attempts to clarify to the unconscious mind of the individual that there is no purpose in becoming the best or a better version of who you used to be. Being enough is all you should care about. You should be enough for yourself and for others.
- Focus on the positives
We all have a bunch of stuff to feel sorry for and trust us, if you want to look at the negative parts of yourself or of the situation you are experiencing at the moment, you will surely be able to find plenty of those. It is up to you what you will choose and whether you will start helping yourself instead of creating obstacles that prevent you from being happy.
- Don’t blame yourself
When you feel sad and disappointed you already have enough issues to deal with. We tend to blame ourselves when we are in a psychological or mental condition. Still, these are the moments when we are in most need of comforting words and sympathy. Remember you are the only capable and responsible person to provide this comfort to yourself. Even if others could help you they would never be as successful. A challenging situation does not mean you messed up. It means you tried and as a part of the process, you had some failures. The important thing is that you gave an honest try and did your best.
- Do things that make you happy
Spoiling yourself as you would do with a kid or your partner when you are in love is exactly how you should treat yourself too. Small or big things that make you happy are vital for your well-being. Find time every day to please yourself instead of pleasing others, or being in the constant chase of achieving an ambitious goal. Don’t think about the extra calories of your favorite candy. Remember if you feel good about it when you eat it, it can’t hurt you… Every day should have at least a couple of moments when you work in that direction.
- Remember how hard you have worked to become a better person
Comparison is addictive and even though we usually discourage people from doing it there is one case when it can prove helpful. It is when the results show that you have become a better person and you deserve the best. Appreciating how far you have come is another trick to help you love yourself. Do not put labels on yourself just evaluate your personal growth and achievements. Your actions are more important than what others think of you.
- Have reasonable expectations just like you do with other people
You shouldn’t expect from yourself more than what you expect from others. Many people have the tendency to be hard on themselves. This is an attitude driven by the criticism they have received as children at young ages and it is definitely a trap. If others can’t make it why should you?