Psychiatrists have tried to point out the seven golden rules of healthy behavior. To do so they focused on what prevents us from living a healthy life. Here are the 7 habits that most people do every day and will probably have to reconsider.
- Need of acceptance
The need to be accepted is common and rational. It is important for humans to seak for that feeling otherwise they wouldn’t make teams and would not socialize with each other. However, there is a certain point where this need becomes poison and makes us servants who constantly try to gain the love of other people. A sign that the need for acceptance is a problem is when we tend to ask that from strangers, people who we barely know and whose opinion shouldn’t have any effect on us. It is a sign that we ask others what we can’t find on our own. A perfect example of this comes from the fairytale of Snow White, where her stepmother asks her mirror who the prettiest is, in an attempt to confirm something she fails to confirm on her own.
Impatience to achieve a goal, find myself where I want to be, and resolve a situation is common. What is impatience? We could say impatience is the fake expectation that we can beat time. We simply think we can do it faster. The problem with that is that we cannot make it and we stop trying. If we don’t try it is sure we will fail and once we fail, we lead ourselves to false assumptions. We believe we failed because we were not good enough and failure is the proof of our inadequacy. We end up disappointed not knowing where to begin to find a real answer on our issues.
Comparison is tricky because while it works against us, it is hard for us to see that. We compare ourselves with what we see and commonly what we see in other people. What we don’t realize is that what we see is only a small part of the picture and usually it is the success story that other people let us see. The only useful comparison we can do is the one we do with ourselves in the past and in the present that will help us become better in the future.
As a behavior, it is met in people who tend to lean on others. They ask for their advice, they seek other people’s opinions but all of these happen on a level that t is simply too much. People who need a leader are most of the time unconfident and lacking confidence results in asking people to help you. We believe that we cannot do certain stuff that other people can and most of the time it is much stuff that we believe we can’t do. Lack of confidence is the root of this particular behaviour.
Take the example of children who grow up in a toxic family. In an attempt to understand and translate the world that children live in they start to believe that this is how things work and that this is absolutely normal. Rationalization needs generalization in order to build up.
The brother of rationalization is perfection. People many times want things to be perfect. Perfection hardly exists in nature, if it ever does. The result is that we postpone things we could do now because we wait until the conditions will be ideal for us to start. This leads to inertia, idleness, and further disappointment. We have to realize that we will never be perfect that we are in constant evolution. Not us neither the circumstances around us will ever be ideal.
Finally, the tendency to blame is one of the most toxic habits. It is the result of a strong ego that does not want to admit its own mistakes. Why do we do it? Because it is easier and less painful. It is easier but unfortunately, it is less helpful. If we don’t understand our inadequacies we will never be able to become better and we will be stuck in a situation that doesn’t lead anywhere.
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