The human soul is sensitive to external factors. Traumas usually happen in young children, at least this is the type of trauma that causes the most serious problems in the adult life of an individual. Consider that the younger we experience an unpleasant situation the deeper its impact is in our soul. As children, we are weak and incapable to protect ourselves properly.
We are therefore extremely exposed to others, We basically, lack any protecting shell. It is mainly our parents’ responsibility to ensure that we stay safe and this is not only how humans act.
Mothers of all animals are overprotective with their newborns and may even become aggressive if they detect any danger for their babies. Instinctstict is so strong exactly due to babies’ fragile nature.
What is a trauma?
According to psychiatrists, trauma takes place in a period of time. It starts when we first experience an unpleasant situation. At that very moment, the experience is not yet a trauma. The brain does not have the time to process and evaluate the experience. In many cases, the person doesn’t have a reason to consider the intentions of those who act against him.
As time goes by, we let ourselves think about what at the beginning appeared as ”wrong” but we didn’t have the sources to evaluate the condition and label it as traumatic. In the meanwhile, more information can find its way to reveal to us what in many cases appears to be the truth. For example, a child receives the abuse of a parent.
At the moment, the kid suffers mostly physically. As the child grows up and learns that physical abuse is a bad thing, it will eventually understand that the people who were supposed to protect it acted against its own interest. The conclusion that they don’t love it and that it does not worth being loved is not far to be made. The moment the individual gets the whole picture is when the trauma is established.
For example in the past society was not so negative about the abuse of women. This fact itself made women more tolerant of abuse. The reason is simple, they didn’t think it was something unacceptable and therefore they were not traumatized as much. So the time between the initial experience and the moment we realize the condition is essential to characterize something like a trauma.
At this point, it is important to understand that it is important to know how to handle people who come to us with an initial bad experience. We don’t want to create a trauma with our response to their story.
It is interesting that in cases where people were not abused or hurt themselves they got traumatized by witnessing the abuse of others. People often think that when an action is not addressed to a particular individual, this person does not have the right to be hurt or even react.
However, this is misleading and modern teachers and parents have to pay attention to their overall behavior in front of kids. Our second tip, therefore, is focused on how we behave in general in order to prevent causing traumas.
Now let’s see the most basic types of trauma and how this will be recognized in an adult’s behavior.
It is usually the rejection of our parents and peers that follows us for a long time. Here we talk about a very deep trauma that can make people reject their own selves from within. It does not only taint our feelings but our thoughts too. It is a type of fear that we are not desired and we are worthless.
Abandonment in early childhood can make a person feel lonely. It is also common for people who experienced abandonment to avoid physical contact. The fear that they will be left alone again is what makes them avoid building bonds and relationships with others.
Often a caregiver who does not fulfill a promise can act as the source of this trauma. It leads people to lose their trust in others. In daily life, it can be transformed into envy.
In this case, we have authoritarian and cold parents. The direct behavioral consequence is rigidness. People who try hard to be socially recognized and acquire a lot of power. A common scenario is to find these people obsessed with perfection and find it hard to make decisions.
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