The high standards society has set for us may act as pillars for the growth of insecurity for some personalities. Being like that is not easy and it often appears disguised in strange behaviors. We all have parts that make us feel that our image is being questioned.
So, what do we do when we feel like that and how can we detect these signs on others?
- They humblebrag
Most of the time, people want to brag about a thing that they have accomplished or that happen in their lives but they know they will not create the best impression on others. In this case, they prefer to act undercover. If they are happy they will go for a business trip they might present it to you like a challenging situation they have to go through and tell you how unlucky they feel they have to do such an exhausting trip. If they told you they are happy this would mean they want to share their joy with you. Humlebraging, on the other hand, comes as a way to make you feel jealous and this is where insecurity comes.
- They try to make you feel insecure
A way to cover their insecurity is to make others look bad. As a result, they become very judgmental especially with the ones that are like them and they may envy. Underestimating other people’s skills, talents and performance is a perfect way to make your imperfections seem smaller. It is a way to shift the attention for whatever they seem is wrong for their image.
- They try to dominate
Within a simple conversation, you will find these people trying to dominate. Even if there is not an important matter on the table, their anxiety to come first will make them competitive. Attention, here we are not talking about a healthy form of competition, on the contrary, we refer to useless dominating behaviors that are making the environment toxic.
- They one-up you in everything
Being competitive and always alert to make themselves look good they are in constant comparison with others. Whatever you mention comes as a threat to them. You may tell a story about how good it was for you to start this new activity and what they understand is that they are inadequate to not have done the same thing. To get rid of this stressful feeling they will just answer back that they have done something better.
- They lie about themselves and others
In an attempt to help their status come clear they may even lie. Many times, it might not even be about them. Toxic people feel that their close ones also have to be successful. A very common and sad example comes from the parents who lie about their kid’s performance in school or sports. This behavior creates insecurities in those who they lie about because a sense that they are not good enough grows in them. The more insecure someone is, the less possible it is for them to hesitate to lie.
- They are shy
Being timid is not necessarily a sign of insecurity. It may have to do with a person’s temper. Introverts tend to appear shyer and shyness is a complicating characteristic that often confuses people. However, in many cases, insecure people are silent and into themselves because they are afraid of other people’s opinions about them. This way they are trying to hide and avoid others’ looks.
- They act snobbish
On the other side of being shy, sometimes insecure personalities come out differently. They talk about themselves too much and appear as narcissists. They try to show off because they care about what other people think. Denying their fragile nature they make efforts to confuse others and appear super cool.
- They assume the negative intention
They assume disagreeing with them is for personal reasons. They just can’t accept that they might be wrong and you just want to point out your opinion for the sake of the conversation. Because they are in constant criticism of themselves, they assume other people have the same intention. This is what leads them to react in particular patterns and one could say that this is the source of all their malfunctioning behavior and communication with others.