“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson was a true genius to have known this ages ago.
He was right. You have to make the most of yourself. Nobody else will. Nobody else has to. Everybody else is busy making their lives. They are busy building themselves. Only you can make yourself the way you want to.
But, how can you make the most of yourself if you don’t believe in yourself? Can you build a future you desire when you don’t have the confidence that you will? Of course not!
Being low on confidence isn’t the real trouble. The real trouble is not knowing that you are low on confidence.
Here’s a list of some tell-tale signs to help you determine if you have low self-esteem. Let’s take a look at these signs.
You are habitually in awe of others
“John is so smart and successful. I wonder if there’s anybody else in this office who does as much hard work as he does. I am sure no one can outrun him. And I can’t even imagine beating him in numbers. I can never do that.”
There is no wrong in praising others, especially those who deserve the appreciation. But praising or appreciating others so much that you start discounting yourself is absolutely wrong. If you are always in awe of others to the point that you take yourself too lightly, then life will become difficult for you. Never underestimate yourself. Never ignore your worth. Others may be good. But you are no less. You cannot be. You don’t have any choice. You have to be better than what you were yesterday. Your competition may not be with others, but you definitely have to compete with your own self. And that can only happen if you think you are worth competing with. So don’t fall into that risky trap of self-marginalization. Come out of it as soon as you can.
You over analyze things
Self doubt is one thing, but doubting everything is a big mistake. And you need to refrain from it. Thinking too hard about what people may think about your new dress, why your boss commented badly on that presentation you worked so hard for, or why did your spouse fight with you last night – all of this isn’t going to do any good to you. These fear and worry based thoughts are the allies of an unconfident person.
Confident people simply don’t care about what others may think. They are affected by hurtful instances, but they don’t keep those instances close to their heart. Therefore, the next time you overthink things, stop yourself right there! Divert your thoughts. Think of the good things in your life. Count your blessings. Slowly it will become a habit, and you will no longer be affected by negative events too much.
You have trouble saying ‘no’
“I don’t want to go to that event, but I will have to, otherwise my best friend will never talk to me.”
If you have ever felt this way, then believe me, you are not alone. There are many of us who have a problem refusing things that we don’t like, simply because we don’t want to hurt others. At times it may be acceptable. But if this becomes a habit, then you, my dear, can get into big trouble.
When you form a habit of saying or doing things you don’t want, you take yourself for granted. You tell yourself that your feelings aren’t as important as others are. Break out of this practice. Stand up for yourself and speak your heart. Let others know what you want. Let yourself know what you want. And then go and get it. Nobody will stop you. All that’s important is that you don’t stop yourself.
Let nothing in this world hold you back. Not even yourself. Get rid of low self-esteem and live your life to the fullest. After all, you have got just one life to live! So live free and enjoy the gift that you have got in yourself. Cherish it forever. You will love it!
Have you transformed yourself into a confident person after experiencing extended bouts of low self-worth? What did you do to break that vicious circle of low confidence? Share your journey with us in the comments section below.